Summary of the script today
|19th November: I have followed the golden middle way for three months to build up my inner self to reach liberation||
|20th November: The darkness will go all the way to receive full embarrassment until “satisfaction” will come to all||
|21st November: The judgment was necessary to go through to remove all darkness in order for evolution to continue||
|22nd November: The work at the Park is coming to an end, which is also what I am coming to||
19th November: I have followed the golden middle way for three months to build up my inner self to reach liberation
Dreaming of being thrown in jail again – by the Commune?
After a good day yesterday, I had a dreadful night again tonight making me as tired today as in the beginning of the week.
I was freezing and dreaming about being thrown brutally in jail again and later being on board a ship in rather rough waters, where I tried to get up from the inside of the ship to look out, however the captain did not allow me. Later I am attacked on a beach in Greece and I also had a new dream of sexual nature and my dear friends all of this are symbols of the Devil – I thought you forgot about these symbols a long time ago (?) but since they are still here let me guess that the Commune is thinking about forcing me at their whim – i.e. to be thrown in jail – and that the Commune is the captain controlling the ship of the Devil and my dear friends, this is the only connection at the moment.
When I woke up it was with the beautiful James Bond song “moonraker” by Shirley Bassey and my dear Shirley, I believe you sing as beautiful as everybody else thinks and your songs are by far the best James Bond songs and we know I was given the words “you and I will always be” on basis of this song and so it is.
Working in “fresh” weather finalising the farm and the leaves
Again I thought that today was only a short day and that I would come home to relax already after noon and this made it easier for me to find resources to go to the park and we know but I truly wondered if I would be strong enough to visit my mother and John this evening (?) as we had agreed on.
When I went outside I was surprised to see that it was raining/showing but you know the weather is often as good as your attitude because when I met Hække as the first today he said with irony “what a beautiful weather” and we know this is only one example of many everyday experiences I have, where I was hoping that he would look at the positive side of the weather and I was thinking that it really was “fresh” and two seconds later he smiled when he said that the weather was “fresh” (!) and my dear friends this is ALSO how it works and later when I met the others, several of them moaned about the “filthy weather” or something like this making me sad again to see how people very often tend to chose the negative side instead of seeing the positive first and we know I decided to tell them that the weather was actually “fresh” as Hække had said and that it is only your attitude, which will decide if you find the weather “terrible” or “fresh” as here and we know it is sadly the same negative attitude, which often decides if people “like” or “don’t like” each other.
I was surprised to find that I could drink coffee again this morning almost without receiving stomach pain.
Yesterday and today Thomas has started to work a little bit together with Michael and I and we know the central lock to the pick-up never works when I drive with Michael but it works when driving with Thomas every time (!) – and the pick-up has a special boiler installed to heat the motor and cabin in winter-time, which has now started by itself several times without me pushing the switch on and we know just small examples of “strange magic” happening with this car.
We succeeded to finalise the absolute last details of the farm and to inspect the farm and work before leaving to make sure that we had done everything satisfactory and of course also to check if we had all tools with us and later I worked with Thomas to remove the absolute last leaves etc., which we also finalised.
Yesterday evening when I was writing I received some more negativity again because even though I had no problems working – I was not tired – I really wished that it would not be necessary, which is a situation the darkness simply loves to “exploit” and we know the reason was also because I am somewhat excited to see what the Commune will decide to do with me – but it really doesn’t matter – and if they are going to challenge me again on my freedom of speech and ultimately threaten to take away my cash help again (?) – which I would be VERY surprised to see – and we know today I have from time to time received some negative speech of sexual nature to keep me from visiting my mother and John this evening and we know most of the day I can say that my thoughts have been more free than before because I am not forced to be on guard all of the time to resist the darkness hundreds or even thousands of times per day but we know predominantly I can “feel free” and I am really looking forward to becoming 100 percent free ALSO being able to sleep normally again and we know in other words I wish that this game would simply end now but on the other hand, I am prepared to continue all the way no matter if the end will be in one week, one month, one year or even longer and so it is – despite of all!
What makes me happy at the moment is that I can make jokes and laugh together with Flemming and the others at the park and also to speak seriously with people when needed, which it was today when I encouraged one of the others to be strong both for him self and his dying mother and we know he was as “low” and sad as you can get and I could tell that he needed help to be strong and we know in order to decrease his pain of course and I was happy when he called me a “good work colleague” because of this and we know no other did the same to try to understand and help him and so it is.
And we know there are still many symbols and inspired speech every day at the park but to tell the truth, I am not much motivated to keep on giving you these symbols to make you understand me because apparently it is simply impossible to make westerners understand my story (!) and that is not because of me but because of you, your prejudices and STRONG voice believing that I am “crazy” where the truth is as SAD as it gets: Even my closest family cannot understand me believing that I am not able to work even though I work the best of all (!) – only said OBJECTIVELY of course (!) – and have good relations with all people and what can I do more than this to show you the biggest contradiction of facts and “making your mind up” in the world?
And finally today, just maybe Rolf and Judith will remember that I have called the car key for “no. 13” for some time now making them smile because this is the place I have given the key inside of the key safe and you may remember the symbolic meaning of the number “13” as “the last supper of Jesus” –because of the attendance of 12 disciples together with Jesus – and we know simply because you have contributed to prepare my death through your actions but we know which of course did not happen.
I have followed the golden middle way for three months to build up my inner self to reach liberation
This evening I went to my mother and John to have dinner and to watch the final of the “crazy about dance” show and we know even though nobody apparently believes in me – or do what it takes to understand (?) – when it comes to all of the symbols explained in my scripts, I decided to write down some more from this show too and we know because my purpose of doing this is and has been to make you understand (!) and also to document my journey for the future.
A couple of times they said that “climax will come shortly”, which was about my homecoming and I believe it was the very POSITIVE and OUTGOING judge Jens W. – who is also good to talk about “improvement needs” as the others are too still being positive, which I like very much which “negative” judges of other shows can learn from – telling one of the dancers that “you are a shining star” as in the song by Earth, Wind and Fire as he said and we know the Council told me that this symbol is MY SHINING STAR on the sky – and my dear family and friends just how many of you have even looked up at the sky to see my star after reading about it in my scripts (?) and how many have watched the videos on Youtube, which I have included in my scripts (?) and we know have you been “too busy” or maybe simply “too lazy” to do this (?) and we know because your attitude is that “it goes without saying that I am wrong and not the Son of God” (?) and I cannot tell you just how sad you all make me feel because of this attitude of yours and we know still making you believe that I am “sick” and “disabled” where the truth is that I am in the best shape and as sane as I have ever been (!) where you are WRONG even though it is EASY to understand my scripts if you just want to and of course when using the key to understand as I have written on my website – and later a dancer was talking about following the Golden Middle Way – see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle_way – which was really about me following this road leading to my liberation and we know together with the entire Universe – and here I might add that I was told yesterday I believe that the dear Lama Yönten is the reincarnation of Siddhattha Gotama, who was regarded as the supreme Buddha 2,500 years ago and we know receiving his wisdom from me as the Source back then.
The very OUTGOING, ALWAYS POSITIVE AND SMILING judge Britt B. said that ”it is raining and raining and you have not become wet, which is a miracle” and we know the rain is the symbol of SUFFERING and really saying that it is a miracle that I have not received any permanent injuries and not adapted one single thought from the Devil after all of the suffering and tests I have gone through.
And we know one was saying that ”this evening is the climax of the last three months” and about Laura it was said that she has gone through not only a development as a dancer but as a person during these three months and what this was about was to say that after returning “completely fresh” from the Source I have built up my inner self the last three months on basis of my fight and resistance to the darkness sorting out what is WRONG and keeping what is RIGHT and we know also with the influence of other people inspiring me on what is good and we know Stephan the German, Lama Yönten, Theosophical Fellowship and all POSITIVE from all people I have met really and we know I am happy that I decided and was strong enough to reject all of the negativity, wrong doings and behaviour of “normal” people, I have met, which I do believe is exceeding positivity and right behaviour of people in this community today.
Before the dance show we heard one of my old “soft” CD’s I gave years ago including the “insanely beautiful” – as my mother called it – song Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen and here in the cover version by the AMAZING Jeff Buckley – who had the same tragic destiny as Eva Cassidy dying in a young age and we know afterwards becoming world famous because of a truly unique talent – and the reason why I write this is because this song was also chosen to be played this evening at the final of “crazy about dance” by the brilliant “house-orchestra” and my dear friends THIS IS THE FINAL AND THEREFORE ANOTHER SYMBOL SIMPLY MEANING “PRAISE GOD” and it is as simple as that because “GOD” IS WHAT WE HAVE BUILT UP THE LAST THREE MONTHS as mentioned and so it is :-).
20th November: The darkness will go all the way to receive full embarrassment until “satisfaction” will come to all
Dreaming of spiritual voices given to me depending on the actions of my family, who believes I have “manic attacks”
Tonight, I first believed that I slept better again – but later in the day I realised that this was another play because I was as tired as ever again – and I wrote down these dreams:
- I met Ole, my mother’s late husband, I told him that “you are my hero” and I asked him to imagine having two spirits speaking to him, where the voices of the spirits depend on the actions of family and friends, this is how it is, and he told me that he knew about this himself as manic attacks and I tried in vain to make him understand that I am going through Hell because of this in order to reach Heaven.
- This is a dream explaining how things really are and Ole is here representing the view of my family that what I experience is “manic attacks” and we know but when family and close friends will come to know the truth about me, you will also discover that you have known the truth unconsciously all along but decided to “suppress this uncomfortable thought”!
- And we know it seems that Kim S. together with the family of his wife is not on my side but also feeding the darkness to make me suffer and we know Kim you should be bright enough to understand but just maybe you have “other priorities” and not the “time” to read my scripts to make you understand your old loyal employee (?) and we know maybe you are also under influence by people around you with “strong voices” not wanting to become “involved” to support me (?) or associated with me because it would be embarrassing to you (?) and maybe even destroying business opportunities, potential income and your “reputation” (?) and of course without knowing what they speak of? And I wonder Kim S. and Preben if you will invite me for Bowling this December as we have done the last approx. 10 years (?) and I do hope so because I appreciate our meetings and care very much for you as my friends – you see?
Suffering from extreme tiredness and new burning feelings inside of me
I was not motivated at all to say the least but I used some time today writing and editing my script of yesterday and I had burning feelings inside of me stronger than I have had for weeks – yesterday was as mentioned (!) about removing more of the remaining darkness, which I did, which also made me feel like this today.
The darkness tried to stress me to do “this and that” today but I simply had to say that I am in control, I make the decisions and then it is up to the Council to get the best out of it, which is then what I did. I needed a day off and really because I was so extremely tired – both physically and mentally – that I was suffering because of this alone – this is in self a painful experience to go through and I realised that this is the state I was in for months and years at the same time working harder and better than other people and we know difficult to believe in but so it is – and it is still impossible to take a nap because when I try do do this I am given much and very uncomfortable physical pain.
Except from the “disabling” (!) tiredness it became gradually a more and more relaxed day with hardly any negative speech given to me.
Barcelona “humiliated” Almeria as I have humiliated the team of the darkness with the support of LTO
For some time I have wished that Barcelona would improve their aggregate goal difference in the table to come closer to Real Madrid and this is what happened this evening when I saw the last third of the football match between Almeria and Barcelona where Barcelona made a historic result defeating Almeria on their home ground by 8-0 and the Danish TV commentator said among others that “it is the poorest effort by any team ever in Spain” and that “nobody is to be substituted, they are all to go all the way to receive the full embarrassment” and this is really about what I have done since February “humiliating” my opponents playing for the darkness and we know who will go all the way to receive the full embarrassment, which is of course because of your “strong” resistance not understanding and not helping me still believing that I am ill and we know you will receive full satisfaction when the light will come to you but your effort these months and past years are really as embarrassing as it gets. Later the commentator said “I cannot imagine that the judge will drag the pain longer than ordinary time, because the players have suffered enough” and again this was about me together with the four people supporting me and playing on my team – my dear LTO friends – against the darkness represented by my family and friends and we know as soon as we are ready, we will stop this game not to drag out the pain any longer than necessary.
I will continue playing table tennis and the importance of understanding CAUSE and EFFECT
Today I was also happy to speak to Fuggi again who invited me to continue playing table tennis, which we will do on Wednesday and we know I was sweating very much when playing last week – which the darkness brought to me as usual and today much more than 10, 20 and 30 years ago – and we know making Fuggi believe that I am in a bad shape – as you have now told me some times – and my dear friend, today you don’t understand that you make me “suffer” when you say this because the truth is that I am not in a bad shape but that the darkness is both making me sweat this much and making my exercise almost impossible to carry out and we know this is the difference as you can READ and UNDERSTAND from the last years of my scripts explaining about this phenomenon many times and we know Fuggi, this is yet another proof of a “strong voice” and we know belonging to you this time but it does not make it any more true, it is again about understanding CAUSE and EFFECT not believing that the effect always is the cause – do you see? – and in order to understand the CAUSE, you really need to have faith in me and to understand my words without “making your mind up” yourself.
21st November: The judgment was necessary to go through to remove all darkness in order for evolution to continue
Dreaming of working from the core of my home and waiting for my “special friends” to carry out the task to “feed the world”
Tonight I had some of the same kind of sleep as yesterday which made me believe from the morning that I had slept “almost alright” but the truth is that I was still tired today, but less than yesterday.
I wrote down these dreams:
- I am working together with Kim S., Helle Aa. and Jens H. at a new office located at Piccadilly Circus in London, the office has just received a new kitchen and I am surprised to see that the others are not at the kitchen but have decided to take time off – and I also had short glimpses of a new and RIGHT grill bar, which is replacing an old, which was not entirely right, to fly in Stockholm even though I should not be able to fly and I had a woman flying with me and she was flying even better and quicker than I.
- Piccadilly Circus is an old symbol of the core of my home, which I have now come to and the kitchen is to say that we are ready to “feed the world” but we still lack the “special friends” to help doing this and I wonder who the woman flying quicker than I is and we know just maybe there is someone out there at a higher spiritual level than me today knowing about me and what is to come?
- I woke up from this dream feeling Helle Aa. and Jens H. “under my skin” and hearing the song “hope of deliverance” by Paul McCartney and the words “When it will be right, I don’t know. What it will be like, I don’t know. We live in hope of deliverance, From the darkness that surrounds us.” – and we know my dear family and friends, do you read this chapter (?) and if you do, do you understand what it means (?) and do you think I would be as clever and creative myself to find the words of this song and link it with my old colleagues Helle and Jens (?) (as coming “special friends”) and really to “what’s going on” removing the darkness at the moment (?) – and if you truly don’t know the answer I can tell you that I am NOT this clever (!) and that I only write what I experience and nothing else!
- My dear Pernille, you may have discovered that I am still “kind of blue” – SIMPLY A MASTER PIECE TOO – and we know “kind of productive” because of the keyboard of the dream but still you have difficulties believing in me (?), which is also Michael Jackson as the dream says.
- And we know I have four LOYAL friends – the best you can get, Elijah, John, David and Meshack from Kenya – who believe in me because they understand “the name of the game” of my scripts – the fight between the light and darkness – but we know my “very bright” family and friends still don’t believe in me and we know do some of you think that my African friends are “too stupid” to understand the “truth” (?) and are “easily convinced” by me (?) – and just maybe because I send them money (?) – and that you yourself of course are much wiser than them (?) and my dear family and friends THIS IS EXACTLY HOW THE DEVIL IS WORKING INSIDE OF YOU because of course YOU ARE WRONG AGAIN (!!!) and all you have to do is to break out of this “prison” to do what is right BEING IN CONTROL OF YOUR NEGATIVE FEELINGS and OPENING UP TO UNDERSTAND THE TRUTH and we know which also is that my dear friends in Kenya are BRIGHT and that they understand people and human feelings MUCH BETTER THAN WHAT YOU DO and we know your behaviour and thinking is called “RACE DISCRIMINATION”, which is some of the worst I know of, but if I should ask you directly if you are racists, all of you would of course say that you are not (?) and we know do you remember seeing this pattern of DENIAL and WRONG PERCEPTION before (?), which is really the same behaviour as the “opposite golden rule” as I have written about months ago – do you see?
The threat of the dream of the Mafia from yesterday was carried out today – I received diarrhoea
This morning I had decided to go to body-biking at the highest level again but just when I had put my jacket on to leave, I received diarrhoea, which I know “sometimes” – this time the BEST song of Erasure in my opinion – can take a few hours to get over and therefore I decided not to go and we know do you remember the dream of yesterday receiving the warning from the Mafia about diarrhoea (?) because of Kim S’ family and we know this is also how it works my friends.
Later in the day I decided to go to Fitness World – just before it would be too late because of increasingly stronger tiredness – to run instead – still having some burning feelings inside of me – and I ran for 30 minutes again still having both feelings of this being “very difficult” and “very easy” to do and we know but it is becoming more easy than difficult and this is despite of the acid gasses I received from the darkness in my stomach when running today – a variant of the burning feelings – and some irritation to my feet and fingers too and so it is.
The stored “data” on evolution was saved too – the Judgment was necessary to go through in order for evolution to continue
After the run I was told – again really because it has been a subject for days – that I will be able to travel in time – the movies “back to the future” have been given to me many times for years – and when I understood today that this will only be possible to do as a “spectator” not becoming involved I was also given the information that if the destruction of the Universe had broken out as intended it would also mean that the stored information of the past – ALL details and experiences of every “livin’ thing” ever – including evolution would start becoming lost, which again would mean that any survivors of the judgment would have to “start from scratch” or at least from a point MANY years back in time and we know this is what we have also ALMOST AS PERFECTLY AS POSSIBLE avoided to go through and we know meaning that the evolution and this information is saved and that all of us will not only survive but also keep being on the level we are today – evolving from here – and by the way the Judgment was necessary for all of us to go through because evolution would not be able to continue as long as there was darkness of the Universe and we know making the final battle between the light and darkness necessary and as you will know by now, the battle ended with VICTORY for the light “humiliating” the darkness and so it is.
Receiving numb joints of fingers and blood blisters on toes for months because of attacks from the Devil
“And now for something completely different”, which is A VERY OLD STORY, which first made it to the script of today, which is about some fingers and toes of mine and we know the outer joint of my left little finger has been almost numb for “a long time” and that is really “many months” now – here I am also thinking of my late father’s mother receiving such a finger many years ago and we know a “sign” of what was to come but we know which really did not come except from these small examples – and we know a few months ago my left thumb was becoming the same but it has now healed and we know my right big toe received a big blood blister in the beginning of my second work period at the park approx. 10 weeks ago where I remember being “led” to drop something heavy on it and we know I also received a smaller blood blister on my left big toe too and we know which is also still there many weeks afterwards and all of this is really to say that this how close the darkness came to destroy some of my fingers and toes and we know which it would have succeeded doing if I did not fight the darkness with everything I got and we know if I did not “handle with care” and we know “you got it” – the SMASH hit by Roy Orbison with Jeff Lynne – is really what I am inspired to write and I am only trying to find a sentence to match it into and we know it was difficult to match me into the Travelling Wilburys as I am here told and we know I am also now receiving pain too at the outer joint of my little finger and we know because of the feelings of Roy and we know THERE IS MORE TO THIS STORY AND HIS FAR TOO EARLY DEATH in 1988 is what I understand here and we know it is related to how people treated Roy and we know THE MAN WITH THE GREATEST SINGING VOICE OF POPULAR MUSIC EVER and so it is.
The most famous ballet in Denmark ever was showing the end of the world because of sexual indulgence
And we know just another small story inspired by the documentary on the most amazing ballet in Denmark ever (!), which I saw on TV yesterday, the “triumph of death” from 1971, which gave such a strong impression that I still remembered it from the premiere when I was only “five years” old – and we know thank you Council for finding the title of one of the songs from the 30th Anniversary edition of “Ziggy Stardust” by David Bowie, which I am listening to once again when this is written and we know ALL OF THIS EXPANDED ALBUM may be my favourite of all by David Bowie with THE BEST SONGS IMAGINABLE ON IT and we know with “rock & roll suicide” as my favourite receiving 100 points and we know together with a couple of others and we know almost all songs are above 90 or 95 on my scale (!) – and we know I don’t know much about ballet but the music of the ballet played by the EXCEPTIONAL Danish band Savage Rose – why did you not became WORLD FAMOUS (?) but we know better late than never (!) – is the MOST BEAUTIFUL MUSIC YOU CAN DREAM OF and we know when the truly amazing lead singer Anisette sings “dear little mother” – which always gives me gooseflesh – the world goes under in the fire and we know the symbol is very direct here because of “sexual indulgence” and we know, which is symbolised by the naked dancers of the ballet and so it is my friends.
This afternoon I watched on TV the movie “Phenomenon” starring John Travolta and we know I liked the movie because of the warm feelings between and right behaviour of “some people”, where many others were behaving WRONG and you might know by now what I prefer?
Today there was no service at the Theosophical Fellowship and instead I would have liked to visit the yearly HiFi & Surround exhibition in Copenhagen and this November I would have LOVED to see Sade in concert for the first time – I understand that it is “never as good as the first time” (?) – but you know lack of money and “normal life” made me miss these events too examples.
Defeating strong darkness by being even stronger – and independent of the darkness through reactions of family/friends
This evening the darkness was again VERY strong giving me the usual sexual sufferings and temptations and I was told that the darkness would carry out its threats if they received my acceptance and we know still the same old play of whether or not I would be strong enough to receive all of this immense pressure, negative speech and suffering without breaking down and we know to give in to the darkness and again how much would I be able to take (?) – also still knowing about my security net – and of course this was done in order to remove more darkness and we know the darkness also tried to make me “nervous” about how family and friends – and also the Commune – will react when reading these days of scripts and we know where I again try to explain the TRUTH of what they have done and we know I have decided that I don’t care about the darkness – it can do whatever it decides to do and this includes if family and friends should decide not to see me again for a while – which I however would be very surprised to see on basis of these scripts – and it does not mean that I would not miss them very much but really that I am “independent” of the darkness choosing the right road again and also saying that I am the one deciding the game, not the very strong voice of people at the moment being scared/concerned, which is transferred to me as darkness to fight, which is why the darkness was very strong this evening and we know I have played this game before and I know what it is about – this is why it may seem easy to defeat but let me tell you that it was not (!) and that if I had decided another road – not being very strong – it would have been MUCH MORE DIFFICULT AND PAINFUL coming through this stage.
Hereafter I was told that this was really about coming through Virgin Mary, which is what I did here even though it should be impossible to do (!) and this is also why I received the diarrhoea earlier today as a symbol of my “old nightmare” you know and I was told that I have crossed every thinkable limit going through my journey, which is what the Council then has done too as a reflection and I was told that this experience was one of them.
Dreaming of people believing they are efficient , which they are not and of managers wrongly focusing on money
Tonight I was sleeping “almost alright” but still I was tired today and I had the following dream:
- A manager with two employees are moving from PFA Pension, which was also to show efficiency where the two employess – one of them being Jan Monrad – remove the same buckets as they have done many times before actually making them very inefficient. A lady comes to the reception and asks if they can repair her Mercedes and I see myself recommending her to contact her local auto mechanic, which is what I have done myself when repairing my Mercedes. I see the new manager of PFA Pension Stine Bosse pointing at a poster of Tryg Insurance and saying that “this is so fine” thinking about money.
- I really don’t have many comments to this dream other than saying that many managers and employees believe they are efficient without being so and we know show me your PRODUCTION and I will tell you if you are efficient (!) and this is what it is about and we know I don’t like managers focusing on money instead of VALUE FOR ALL, which in the future will be MUCH MORE TRUE CUSTOMER ORIENTATION and of course to provide normal life for all employees and a healthy company.
The work at the Park is coming to an end, which is also what I am coming to
This morning again I was really not very motivated to go to work at the Park – a feeling which is becoming stronger now when I can see “the end” coming at the end of this week – and we know I am looking forward to ending this “assignment” because the truth is that I am doing work, which is not “meant” for me because I have been given other competences and “interests” as my “gift”, which include communication, management, business development etc. and we know on the other hand I will miss the people of the park much and it was with this attitude that I went to the park today, where I was happy working together with Thomas the whole day, the first 5-6 hours in the greenhouse of the wine plants, where we removed the old grapes – which had not been picked when they should have (!) and as a result they were now small and dry as raisins – weeds, leaves, washed the banister and also pruned the wine plants – as a symbol of preparing myself for next year really – and we know 2/3 of the plants were pruned last year and the last 1/3 were not and I noticed that the last 1/3 produced as many grapes as the first 2/3 in total and we know but of course the concentration of these grapes have been less than the grapes from the pruned plants. I was not told how to prune the plants but I found a book and read a few tips and we know I do believe that the quality of this work should be at a higher and uniform level from year to year – thinking of written procedures again – and I am sure that I could do this work better if I was given a book on the subject to read carefully – and teachings if needed – before starting the work and so it is.
Afterwards we removed a woodpile together with two of the others, which had been partly destroyed because it was not protected by wind and weather and we know we drove three loads to the waste disposal site and at the end of the day I was happy with the quality of work we did today – being the first time I have pruned wine plants – and the efficiency thinking of the amount of work we did and we know I was very happy also with both the quality and the efficiency of the work Thomas did and so it is J.
Again I was working receiving quite strong negative speech, which was now again negative to all and everything, and I felt the speech almost “attaching” to me today to change my habits – which it however did not and would not do at this stage at the game even though the game is still “realistic” to go through – at the same time as I received more acid gasses also giving me heartburn which was not very nice and I also felt just how worn-out I am physically because of tiredness my friend when doing this work but still carrying on I am.
At the end of the day I asked Rolf and Judith if my last day is on Friday or Monday next week because I became unsure and we know Rolf told me that it is Monday but that it would be alright for me to finish already Friday and again it was a gesture because he is satisfied with the work I do and we know Judith “then I would like to order a three course dinner on Friday” as I said and we know receiving SMILES from you and this is a part of my everyday as I have not written much about – the same when we the other day saw ducks performing a show (!) leaving the lake across the railway to find food on land and we know “do they have a leader” (?) as one said and indeed they have – they have a “anfører”, which is an “and-fører” (!) (a “captain” which in Danish is a “duck leader”) as I said and we know big smiles again and just to say that THERE ARE NOW AGAIN MANY OF THESE COMING EVERY DAY AND SO IT IS J.
I have not done Yoga for quite some time now and actually not since writing about it in my scripts – I believe it is more than two weeks now – and we know this is part of the game to give me acid gasses and heart burn because of the darkness given to me by family and friends but we know I was also told a couple of weeks ago that it will be impossible to let me burn from the inside and we know the acid gasses is somehow part of this too, which the Yoga would probably help me to remove but you know I have been on the edge not prioritising Yoga as 1st priority and not having the energy to do it despite of having this knowledge and we know also thinking that I receive healing every day when I am together with people who I like, who like me too and we know also when going to some of the events, I still do even though I have neither been able to manage 2-4 events per week for some time now and we know all a part of the plan really and we know I will come through when I do my best and this is really what I do because it also includes to have BALANCE of not working too hard to break me down and so it is.
This afternoon when coming home at 15.20 – at usual time – I felt the “metal fatigue” so much that I almost did not feel like writing the script of today and publishing the last four days of scripts but you know this is still my 1st priority to do – even though I am extremely SAD and TIRED doing this work after writing much for years and being this tired as I am – which is then what I did and let me tell you that it has been a growing challenge and achievement to write and publish each script of November – making me happy every time when I have seen on my website that somehow I managed to do it again – and we know really making it impossible under the circumstances but you know there are so many things, which are impossible to do “in your mind” and so it is.