I had NO energy and was TIRED as a living dead

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Summary of this page

WRONG behaviour of my family/friends etc. completely emptied me for energy making me a “living dead” on the edge of dying for years, which they “could” not understand!

  • All WRONG behaviour of my family/friends etc. also removed my sleep and absorbed all of my energy to cover their own need of energy, which their negative feelings had removed!
  • This was “killing tiredness” given to me when I did not physically recover but started to physically degenerate, I started feeling as a “living dead”, a “Zombie”, where I constantly was so weak and tired that I could hardly keep myself together and hardly walk out the door in mornings to start work when I still felt as deadly tired as the night before without any energy.
  • No “pills” or “ordinary counsellors” could make me “feel better” – the only way was for my family/friends etc. to improve their behaviour, which was “totally impossible” to do!
  • I had to keep on working surpassing extreme tiredness, lack of energy, physical degeneration and of course still all negative voices, feelings and visions given to me – without starting to relax!

My scripts are the best proof of my suffering, I wrote them being technically dead but I never missed a beat!

  • I started my journey bringing the most immense sufferings to save the world in May 2009 already completely broken down by darkness and VERY tired of writing.
  • Still I wrote more than 3,500 pages since deciding for EXTREME discipline instead of being tempted by EXTREME tiredness and impatience to do nothing – the work on my scripts saved the world!
  • The worst period was in 2010 when the darkness had absorbed all of my energy, where the world only survived because of my will power to do impossible work and take on immense sufferings.
  • My decisions came into force with my scripts and website and part of my energy was used to protect anyone from removing my writings because they did not like the truth about themselves.
  • I had to work as “the best in the world” to convince the world: My writings is a testimony of my sufferings, which I wrote being “technically dead”, but I never missed a beat.

I was almost fainting and my entire body throwing up when I had to do my best slave work for the Commune and keep my home and myself tidy having the Devil as my manager!

  • Besides from constant negativity trying to overtake me, I was feeling beaten black and blue, dizzy, almost fainting, had difficulties to think/concentrate and felt like my whole body throwing up.
  • I had to work my absolutely best also to convince the Commune, that I was fully capable even though I was not when I was dying – they thought I was the strongest, but I was the weakest of all!
  • I had to keep my home and myself meticulously in order to save me from the darkness of my own family inspecting my every move because of my “claimed sickness”!
  • I was a slave of the Devil for years, the worst “manager” in history, destroying my work rhythm but inside of the darkness was the “road of God”, which I followed when I continued doing my best.

Below follows the full version of this page.

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My sleep/energy was removed making me TIRED as a living dead, but still I had to work my best

WRONG behaviour of my family/friends etc. completely emptied me for energy making me a “living dead” on the edge of dying for years, which they “could” not understand!

All WRONG behaviour of my family/friends etc. also removed my sleep and absorbed all of my energy to cover their own need of energy, which their negative feelings had removed!

All WRONG behaviour of my family/friends etc. becoming angry/sad at me because of their own misunderstandings, lack of self-knowledge and self-control, wrong belief that I had become crazy, speaking wrongly and negatively about me behind my back etc. were transferred directly and negatively to me not only as negative voices, feelings and visions, but also as lack of sleep and absorption of all of my energy to cover their own need of energy, which they lost as the result of their angriness/sadness some even feeling “completely broken down” as my mother and sister as examples.

Had they been positive understanding what I was truly doing, they would have brought me positive energy making me feel vibrant and alive, but when they did the opposite, they absorbed my energy and transferred it to themselves (!) in order to come through and “feel as good as possible”, and my mother was the one needing the most of my energy to come through, which you can read about many places in my scripts, which made her doctors almost astonished seeing how easy she came through the attack of aggressive cancer, which she received in 2010 and she did indeed come through this “feeling good” with little pain and “enough energy” because I decided to help her taking on her pain too as additional suffering.

This was “killing tiredness” given to me when I did not physically recover but started to physically degenerate – I became a “living dead”, who could hardly keep myself together

This is what in practise almost removed my sleep and taking away my energy, which started not that long after my first spiritual opening in 2004 and becoming stronger with the development of my spiritual experiences, thus also the resistance to listen to and understand me in first hand by my own mother and family (!), which gave me even POORER SLEEP and many sleepless hours, where it simply was IMPOSSIBLE for me to fall asleep because I either did not become tired when I tried to sleep or because I was shown constant strong spiritual visions, i.e. a “spiritual movie”, and many times I also received thousands of special, physical “clicking’s” to my throat, which in itself prevented me from sleeping, and I remember in 2006 after starting to receive direct spiritual speech that I was told that I would receive an average of three hours of sleep per night and all I can say is that I started sleeping much poorer, which made me increasingly more tired at the same time as I also started receiving 5 to 10 dreams almost every night, many of which I wrote down as notes or spoke into a voice recorder when I was woken up with each dream every night, which stressed me much – and made med DISGUSTED when it kept on for years ALWAYS disturbing my sleep – not only when writing down/recording the dreams but also when receiving the dreams when “sleeping”, which also is to say that I was kept in a light stage when “sleeping” without receiving deep sleep.

This was not just what you normally would associate with tiredness, this lack of energy was “killing tiredness” because the human body needs to recover during sleep, and when it does not, it starts to degenerate and this is what I felt for example in 2010 when my skeleton became very fragile feeling that my bones were close to breaking especially when running, which I continued doing almost all of the way (!), and after days, weeks, months and years of incredible tiredness having to continue doing my absolutely best/hardest work in order not to be overtaken by darkness, I started feeling as a “living dead”, a “Zombie”, where I constantly was so weak and tired that I could hardly keep myself together and hardly walk out the door in mornings to start work when I still felt as deadly tired as the night before without any energy inside of me.

For periods of time, when EXTREME energy and work was required to absorb darkness and later to create our New World, I was kept awake without sleep or only given very few hours sleep for days, when I had to meditate or keep on writing during nights, which was also needed in order for me to receive important information, which I received the most of when I was suffering the most, in order to be able to answer “the riddle” about whom I am etc. as part of the game to survive! My physical barrier of pain and mental readiness was constantly expanded to a level where no one has been before.

No “pills” or “ordinary counsellors” could make me “feel better” – the only way was for my family/friends etc. to improve their behaviour, which was “totally impossible” to do!

There was NOTHING I could do to remove this tiredness. It was brought to me spiritually because of the wrong doings of my own family etc. and the only thing, which would help was for them to understand me and obtain faith in me, which “of course” was “totally impossible” to do because of their laziness to read and their strong and better-knowing voice telling them that “he must be crazy because surely he cannot be Jesus” – or could he? I could not just take a pill to “feel better” or have “ordinary counsellors” helping me. I knew the answer, and my family did not. They only wanted to help, but their “misunderstood goodness” was killing me!
I had to keep on working surpassing extreme tiredness, lack of energy, physical degeneration and of course still all negative voices, feelings and visions given to me – without starting to relax!

I knew that I had to “keep on” working and doing my absolutely best all of the time – keeping my own Basic Working Rules etc. – constantly surpassing my extreme tiredness, lack of energy, physical degeneration and of course all of the negative voices, feelings and visions given to me without starting to relax and do nothing – or become negative because of my situation (!) – which would have made it impossible to absorb the darkness and had I not continued, the darkness would have been released to the world and you know what this would have meant.

This was God and the Holy Spirit inside of me continuing to bring me the attitude “keep on, keep on, keep on” and “never give up” – and I the decision to do it physically overcoming the impossible – as the fight to save the world and a part of this was to bring energy I did not have to the world when the darkness did its best to terminate us, and later to bring energy into the creation of our New World, which we did without having the energy to do it.

A symbol of my coming tiredness was given already in 1979 at the Danish revue “Cirkusrevyen” with the brilliant Danish actor Tommy Kenter performing “”Bare jeg ikke var så træt” (“I wish I was not so tired”), which I remember seeing together with my mother and family.

Rico, the “Zombie-boy”, is tattooed as a Zombie to show the world how it was for me to be a living dead because of EXTREME tiredness

The programme “Aftenshowet” (“the evening show”) on Danish DR1 TV showed the 2nd May 2012 an interview with Rico, the Zombie-boy”, from Canada, who has decided to be tattooed all over his body to look like a Zombie, a skeleton/corpse as you can see from the pictures below with the purpose to show the world how it was for me to be a living dead from 2006 to 2012 because of extreme tiredness and negative voices/torments of darkness and also because I decided people to “live and let live” and not to “live and let die” to retrieve energy from people I would “allow” to be terminated, which I could only avoid doing by going to my absolute most extreme, which included to be “more dead than alive” – this is what you can see from the pictures, this is how the feeling was inside of me fighting for my and your life every single second with my outmost for years.

Rico, the “Zombie-boy”, looks like a dead man alive to show the world my sufferings being a Zombie because of sins/darkness of man

The insects on Rico’s head symbolises “the worst sexual torments imaginable” as mentioned elsewhere in this memo

My scripts are the best proof of my suffering, I wrote them being technically dead but I never missed a beat!

I started my journey bringing the most immense sufferings to save the world in May 2009 already completely broken down by darkness and VERY tired of writing

My means to defeat the darkness and what caused me the most immense sufferings in itself was to write all of my scripts especially since May 2009 with the start of my book no. 2, when I left for Kenya, and my starting point for this journey to save the world was that I was already broken down because of darkness pressuring me for years, I was already feeling that every day was “completely impossible” to come through the same way as when Cassius Clay (Muhammad Ali) was fighting the overwhelming strength of his opponent Foreman, which was also “completely impossible” for him to do, and I was already VERY TIRED of writing after working for Bo in Dahlberg misusing me to do his job writing many insurance proposals etc. – so he could take on the “task” to “speak” and enjoy himself (!) – and also to write my book no. 1 on top of this in the spare time.

Still I wrote more than 5,000 pages since deciding for EXTREME discipline instead of being tempted by EXTREME tiredness and impatience to do nothing – the work on my scripts saved the world!

Still I wrote more than 5,000 pages from 1st May 2009 until the end, and I simply HAD to write every single day using energy I did not have in order for the darkness not to take me over, this is how it was, only by working I could continue absorbing darkness even when I had no more energy, which is then what I did and the closest I came NOT to write a script was 1-2 days in the autumn of 2009 where I lived with my sister after returning from Kenya and she was sending me extreme darkness – of course without knowing it and wanting to hurt me – which was completely breaking me down, thus “almost” making me skip writing my scripts and also start sinning (!), which would had be the same as deciding to stop living.

It was a PAIN every single day to write my scripts, there was NO variation to the work other than to decide to “keep on, keep on, keep on” all of the time crossing EXTREME tiredness with the only thing on my mind and the absolutely strongest desire giving to me just to relax and sleep, which I of course could not. I had to decide for EXTREME discipline starting work every morning and not to stop until I had finished my work satisfactory, and every day the first 1-2 hours was SIMPLY IMPOSSIBLE to come through because of my immense tiredness, strong impatience given to me and lack of a working rhythm, which I had to insist finding every single day, and gradually it then came to me every single day, and I decided that I had to do a “normal working day” and week, which made me work almost all of the time seven days a week with an average of maybe 50 to 60 hours per week, which may not sound as “very much”, but compared to having “no energy”, it was 50 to 60 hours, which most people would not even start doing.

Most of my scripts and work after 1st May 2009 was done working like this; the scripts in itself was not difficult to do, but when I was more dead than alive writing them, ,it was “impossible work” to do.

The worst period was in 2010 when the darkness had absorbed all of my energy, where the world only survived because of my will power to do impossible work and take on immense sufferings

The worst period was in 2010 when the darkness had “succeeded” to “kill” my computer and I had to work at the library for weeks before I could replace it. At this time, the world was not living without me, i.e. God and the Holy Spirit inside of me, to take on its darkness/sins, and I was to the extreme point so immensely tired without energy and still receiving the worst negative voices etc. that it was only by using my absolutely strongest will power that I managed to start work every day and to come through this period constantly speaking directly against the darkness. It was the worst HELL every single second for every single day, and still my family/friends etc. did not listen and understand, which made me as sad as you can even imagine.

In itself my work was not difficult to do, what made it difficult was the circumstances under which I worked with NO energy and the darkness consuming and dissolving me from inside out, and this is the same as saying that the darkness of the world had consumed all light and more than that, there was noting more to give! The world was only living because of my will power to live/survive, and I fought every single second while a large part of the world kept on “feasting” – and the other part suffering (much) – without knowing that we were going through the end times of the world!

My decisions came into force with my scripts and website and part of my energy was used to protect anyone from removing my writings because they did not like the truth about themselves

My scripts and website were my weapon to defeat the darkness, this is where my decisions were committed in writing, this is where my rules of our New World came into force, which were rules for the darkness to follow too, and because of this great importance, I decided from early on that my writings were the absolutely most important work to do, a true priority 1, which I would never give up on and also that a part of my energy should be used for the spiritual world to help keeping my scripts on the Internet – using “mind games” etc. on people if necessary (!) – as the first priority without the darkness of my family/friends and ALSO employers, system, church etc. succeeding to remove them because they did not like the truth I wrote about them (!), which would also lead directly to the end of the world.

I had to work as “the best in the world” to convince the world: My writings are testimonies of my sufferings, which I wrote being “technically dead”, but I never missed a beat!

To look at the mere volume of my writings and to read them is the same as witnessing my sufferings. They were written when I was “technically dead” most of the time and still having to do my absolutely best all of the time to have a chance to get unwilling people started to read and understand me, which I only could do by doing my absolutely best.

If I did not do my best, I would not be able to convince the world about who I am – otherwise the world would “probably” not have reacted to me (!) – and this also included as an example to write about the meaning of the Jerusalem UFO – my Signs III and IV web-pages – as NO ONE in the world decided to do or “could do” (!), which was truly killing me, but you know where there is a will, there is always a way and in general on my journey, I decided to follow the absolutely last crack of light as my road before it would disappear with the Devil constantly breathing me in the neck ready to start tormenting me even more and truly killing me and all of us if I should decide to give up.

“Just” writing this memo including this chapter and these lines is “completely impossible” to do because of extreme tiredness, exhaustion, “metal fatigue” after let me say “much hard work” for years, extreme impatience as I am given and also because most if not all of what this memo includes is already to be found in my scripts, but since no one can get an overview of these, at least today, and also because I need this memo to wake up my family/friends etc. (!), I have to write it and better doing this than to lose “one egg” from the tray of creation, which would be the alternative, which I will NEVER do because it would mean that our perfect future would not become 100% but maybe only 99% perfect and “perfect” is my decision, so therefore :-). And it also makes me suffer knowing that the Universe is sacrificing to bring me energy doing this work (read my scripts from the summer/autumn 2011) and despite of this, the feeling of energy is “almost not existing”.

Most people, who saw the volume of my writings when I wrote them – not that many (!) – probably thought that “it is completely insane how much he is writing” but you did probably not think about the sufferings I went through to do this at the same time as you decided to abandon me prioritising to live you own carefree and selfish lives, which would have “terminated you without knowing what was on your way”, if I had not saved you, simply because you were too better-knowing, ignorant and selfish to REALLY understand what I was doing and what this was truly about.

I knew that if I did not continue writing my scripts every single day and do my best under the circumstances, the Devil would start winning “sets”, which would give me the risk of making it technical impossible to continue working at my computer, to upload my scripts – I have seen many technical challenges to my system “breaking down”, including a keyboard not working, a screen literally dissolving etc., but this was nothing compared to what would have happened if I had decided to give up writing and also that it would give me such strong (even stronger!) sufferings through visions and speech, which I would not have been able to withstand, which would have broken me down also commencing the end of the world – and I was SO TIRED and BROKEN DOWN that it was 1 billion times easier to stop working than to continue working as a living dead, but I am proud to say that the end result is that I never missed a beat, and here it is not “Oh, my God”, Helle :-).

I was almost fainting and my entire body throwing up when I had to do my best slave work for the Commune and keep my home and myself tidy having the Devil as my manager!

Besides from constant negativity trying to overtake me, I was feeling beaten black and blue, dizzy, almost fainting, had difficulties to think/concentrate and felt like my whole body throwing up

I had to start work every morning being constantly exhausted feeling beaten black and blue knowing that I had to write maybe 5 or 10 more pages today, or to do hard physical work as a gardener at Brede Park in 2010, which every day seemed like both a mental and physical completely impossible task to do not because of the work itself but because I had NO energy to do it. I was more dead than alive doing work, which most people with full energy would not be able to do. Just walking to the supermarket and back with shopping bags was an almost invincible task to do at the same time as I did the hardest physical work of all as a gardener working with “everything I got” without other breaks than the official.

I continued working my best with throw-up feelings, often with a blurred vision, a “heavy head” literally feeling the darkness squeezing on my head from all sides – also inside of the head – making me dizzy sometimes believing I would faint, almost unable to concentrate/think (!) and inside of me I felt warm/humid all over with prickly sensations on my skin and the nearest I can describe this is as a constant physical feeling of “annoyance, impatience and disgust” all over my body; it felt like my whole body was throwing up all of the time – and of course I was given the strongest negative feelings to being lazy, “give up”, don’t work thoroughly but “as quickly as possible” etc., which I had to overcome constantly.

I had to work my absolutely best also to convince the Commune, that I was fully capable even though I was not when I was dying – they thought I was the strongest, but I was the weakest of all!

It was part of not losing to the darkness to keep on doing my absolutely best no matter what work I did, which as examples also included my “slave work” for the Commune to prove to them that I had my full working capacity, which they first were convinced that I had when I met them in November 2009 for the first time, but suddenly they changed their minds deciding that I had “other problems than unemployment” after publishing my writings the 1st February 2010, which was the only change, which happened because I was still acting as the same man as in November 2009 (!) – they thought I was crazy, thus having lost my working capacity (!) – and because of their special attention to me, this meant to have good relations with people and to work better than anyone else in order to finally make them receive the feedback that this is what characterizes me as a person, but it cost me 6 months of EXTREMELY HARD PHYSICAL WORK as a gardener at Brede Park, where they ordered me to work, where I kept on working all I could with “mentally” impossible work to do – this is how people with their full physical strength thought when I worked together with them – and because I apparently was so “strong”, I kept on receiving the hardest work of all culminating with the clean up of a front garden to a farm house, which had not been maintained for “many years” looking like an impenetrable jungle, which was “impossible” to clean, but I did it “much quicker and better than expected” (!) and the daily leader told me that “I am impressed and I don’t normally get impressed” and if he had known that I was working as a living dead all of the time constantly on my edge of collapsing because of tiredness/no energy, physical very hard work and also my other sufferings with negative voices, visions and feelings, which I had to drown out all of the time by continuing to tell myself “keep on, keep on, keep on” ALL of the time (!), he would of course had decided to give me lighter work, and this is to say that I had to do much better than others feeling much worse than others and that no one could tell. They thought I was much stronger than them, and I was the weakest of all!

This continued when I again was forced against my will – how do you think this feels like (?) and yes TERRIBLE (!) – to work for Falck for five months in 2011, where the Commune wanted to “test” me to see if I could work full time (!) – they knew that I was already working 50-60 hours per week on my scripts/website, but this did not “count” in their eyes (!) – so I had to follow their crazy orders once again doing what to them ALWAYS had been impossible work to do (create a key database for customers, meticulously to clean up their offices, sort out their very WRONG invoice system and write a 100 page memo helping them to improve their quality and efficiency to the “absolutely best”, which was truly “killing” me) at the same time as I had to do my own work with my writings on top of this, and then “of course” also to send two job applications per week to “satisfy” the completely crazy rules of the Commune (!) and I did this “impossible” work for Falck, which finally gave me the final declaration of my full working capacity when they wrote to the Commune that “Stig has the last month done a 37 hours work week as agreed, all without problems” and also that they were happy to have me.

The Commune and their “employers” helped to break me completely down in reality removing my working capacity, but still I had to convince them that I was fully capable to work and only by believing that I could do impossible work, I was able to do it, this is how it is – and because of this, God and the Holy Spirit inside of me also did impossible work to save the world and create a New World :-).

If I had not always done my absolutely best, the darkness would creep into the “holes” of my work trying its best to terminate us

My work and decisions kept on being challenged by the much stronger voice, “are you sure about this”, “what about this and that” and it could continue forever (!) and the best way to overcome this voice was to do my best work, because when I knew that I did my best work, the negative voice could not “creep” in and challenge me, but if I knew that I could do better, this is what made the negative voice stronger giving it a chance to break me, and then there was only one cure and that was to continue doing my absolutely best under the circumstances giving everything I had always, which as an example included to meticulously take one straw of grass after the other when “perfectly” separating thousands of straws of high grass from plants when working in the bed of the garden of Brede Park in 2010, which NO ONE there would normally even dream about doing, and still I was constantly screaming inside of me because of my sufferings – this is what it took to defeat the darkness, otherwise it would have become stronger than me and a “door open” for the darkness would mean termination or maybe “a not perfect world for the future”.

I had to keep my home and myself meticulously in order to save me from the darkness of my own family inspecting my every move because of my “claimed sickness”!

I was ”obliged” to do my absolutely best in everything I did without the darkness taking me over, which also included my move in the autumn of 2009, where I was also really breaking down physically doing work, which I could not do and afterwards to set up all furniture and light at the apartment PERFECTLY and that is really meticulously without having the energy to do so, and to do it quickly, which was what both impressed and satisfied the darkness of my mother and sister – and I repeated this again when moving to Helsingør in 2011 making my new home “perfect” within the first week after moving in.

This continued when I had to keep my apartment and myself “perfect” again not least for my mother and sister, who were following my every move because of my “claimed sickness” (!) in order for them to believe that “everything is fine” and their feedback was that the looks of the apartment and myself (!) was indeed always fine, and we know “not easy” to do thinking of the circumstances with sufferings and MUCH other work I had to do, but I did it!

The Devil – my “concerned” family checking me out to be sure I was fine (!) – was chasing me from behind and if I did not do my best work without breaking down – which I did not, not even once – the darkness would have caught me starting the destruction of me and the world. My family wanted the best for me not understanding that they were chosen as symbols of the darkness of the world destructing me. They were symbolically the darkness of the world, which they brought to me.

It was first when moving from Lyngby to Helsingør in October 2011 where my mother was helping me to clean up the apartment in Lyngby – and very much of practical matters in the new apartment because there is “no limit to how much she wants to help” (!) – that she really saw that I had only been able to keep it tidy on the surface because the kitchen and bath room was not as clean as I would have liked it and especially the oven and some small appliances were directly dirty, but in my new apartment, everything is and will be kept “as clean as new” as the goal.

I was a slave of the Devil for years, the worst “manager” in history, destroying my work rhythm but inside of the darkness was the “road of God”, which I followed when I continued doing my best

While I was doing all of this work with my scripts, for the Commune and with my home – and even back to 2006 when I was working for Fair, Acta and Dahlberg until 2009 – I had my voice as the absolutely “worst dictator” ever of the world as my “manager” deciding what I was to do and when I was to do it when my plans somehow simply kept on changing without my influence, which is truly as frustrating as it gets, but I learned already in 2006 to accept this, but it was EXTREME and it kept on annoying me much, but of course I could not decide to be negative (!), and as an example I was often not allowed to sleep and new “tests” and work seemed to come to me as “coincidences” all of the time conflicting with my own plans, which made the ability of being (extremely) “willing to change” become vital because I was thrown back and forwards always destructing my rhythm of work, often without being able to keep my own deadlines, which was the Devil destroying my work but inside of this it was also “the road of God” as long as I kept on doing my best (!), which went through the worst darkness, where I often had to put all things I absolutely did not like aside and just do it feeling disgusted – for example to publish my scripts making my family/friends etc. believe I was crazy, which crossed all of my limits, it was truly “mentally impossible” and “disgusting” to do in the beginning – this was often part of the tests and just contacting my friends again in August 2010, who wrongly had abandoned me giving me the worst direct sufferings because of their wrong doings and some of them playing “offended” by me, which was totally opposite the real story, was far above my normal limits, but I had to do it and to focus on their positive sides, which I then did my best.

I was a slave of the Devil for years, the worst “manager” in history, which very easily all of the time could have upset me making me speak negatively against it, which was the STRONG feeling and encouragement I received, but if I had started doing this, you know what would have happened – and part of this was also an uncertain near future, because I often did not know what would happen tomorrow, next week and month, where I would get an income from, where to live, how to be able to work when I was too tired to work etc. – and I even accepted in Kenya to start a pilgrimage across the continent of Africa because the voice asked me to do it, I was willing to go through any darkness (!), but eventually the road of God was to remain in Kenya together with my new friends Elijah, David, Meshack and John from LTO.

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The world gave me the WORST sexual sufferings

Read this, the next page of my sufferings here.

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This website was first published November 12, 2011, and has since been updated few times.

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