Summary of this page
My spiritual openings in 2004/06 changed my life drastically, but when I was met in practice with no understanding nor support from family and friends, but the opposite, I started receiving extreme sufferings first through “unstoppable” visions (i.e. dreams when being awake) and feelings and later through direct, negative speech from the Devil – led by the wrong doings of my own family/friends etc. chosen to represent the sins of mankind (!) – around the clock, with a voice, which was literally 10-100 times stronger than I because of the number of people opposing me, unbearable and destructing me/the world every single second, and for years I fought to be strong enough going through this constant pain with the world literally on my shoulders fearing to break down at any moment terminating the world as the result.
- My voice and movement of limbs was physically overtaken in 2006-07 by the spiritual world, which made me desperate and almost kill myself!
- My family etc. could not see the incredible disgusting and destructive voice given to me constantly killing me and the world, and that they were the sender!
- I received an immensely STRONG destructive voice trying to force me to ignite the Doomsday weapon and I constantly feared that it would win and terminate us all!
- The voice was so strong that it brought me to my knees when it penetrated my body and mind trying to stick to me and change my mind into being negative/destructive.
- The darkness tried to destruct the spirits of my mother and father, thus the world and my worst experience ever was when the crying spirit of my mother showed herself physically asking for her life.
- I had to accept the disgusting attacks of the darkness without becoming negative, which would have started the physical destruction of both me and the world.
- It was INCREDIBLE painful when I had to work and meditate being the absolutely most tired to save the world believing that the world would end and all of us bleed to death at any moment.
- I was given CONSTANT STRESS by the voice speaking constantly, giving me new ideas, questions, speculations and TESTS constantly breaking me down even when I could take no more.
- Deceptions and wrong doings of my family etc. gave me spiritual deceptions and a nightmare when they thought I was crazy not understanding that they were feeding my spiritual voice themselves!
- Other negative feelings – sadness, temper, laziness/impatience, selfishness etc. – was given to me directly from family/friends etc., which I constantly also had to overcome.
- In 2010, everything was feeling ROTTEN and music sounded terrible as a symbol of the Devil almost destroying the world – we were practically not living!
- The darkness strongly tried to make me set up new rules and decide as most ignorant, dictatorial managers would have done, which would have made the creation of our New World impossible!
- Since 2006, I have had two conversations when meeting people both physically and with the voice inside of me, sometimes with an incredible desire just to lay down in despair and give up.
- From 2006-09 I received spiritual indications of sexual misuse of children because this was part of the communities, where I lived, which was dreadful in itself to receive.
- Spiritually inspired and negative speech given to other people on sexuality etc. also made me suffer.
- Starvation is difficult and made me suffer in 2010, but nothing compared to the tiredness and negative voice/feelings I was given haunting and killing me constantly.
- Continuing visions, unrecognisable songs and “feelings of people” were part of my “constant sufferings”.
- The sufferings were constantly keeping me on my edge of breaking down and giving up with termination of the world as the consequence.
When moving to Helsingør in October 2011 the “agenda” was to celebrate and little did I know that the TRUE agenda was to work even harder to come through the most dense and WORST darkness of all to liberate the part of the original Source trapped inside of darkness, which included to be harassed by the city of Helsingør threatening to give me a dead sentence removing my cash help and eventually wrongly declaring me “incapable”/”crazy” (!) and my meditation group and other groups on the Internet condemning and rejecting me and not least my family reacting STRONGLY on my writings of them in “my sufferings” culminating with Karen telling the family of my “hopeless self-centredness” bringing out the strongest negative feelings of my mother in me, thus opening the access for me to the inner side of the original King to liberate EVERYTHING from darkness, which it had made “sure” was “impossible” to do, but still we did it (!), and it took the greatest efforts and strain on me deciding NOT to give up despite of being “completely soaked out of energy”, TIRED and EXHAUSTED when crossing my ultimate pain barriers and also to offer the physical lives of my mother and myself to be sacrificed if necessary, which it however was not because of the sufferings I decided to take on myself voluntarily – and on top of this, my father, mother and aunt received new “attacks” of cancer giving them “fear to die” and sadness to me.
Below follows the full version of this page.
From 2004/06: The destructive voice of the Devil tormented and brought me to my knees to destruct the world
Spiritual openings changed my life drastically, but when I was met with no understanding, I started receiving extreme sufferings
My life perception changed suddenly when I received a “total shock” through my first spiritual revelation the 12th April 2004 – the birthday of Mary Magdalene in her new life as Karen (!) – where I was shown the immensely strong and good eyes of God within the most beautiful light shining through a dome of a church.
When I tried to share this experience with family and friends, I found that it was almost impossible to talk about not because of me but because of people who did not like or want to talk about “spirituality” in the way that I received it, which to my surprise apparently was a taboo, and it did not get better when my experiences continued and eventually became so strong that I started receiving visions (like dreams but awake), which were impossible to stop and ALWAYS there when I closed my eyes stressing me much – I could not “close down” as “clairvoyants” normally do, it was now part of me always – and often when I wanted to sleep, the visions became so strong that parts of or whole nights became destroyed when I was not “allowed” to sleep because of the strength of the visions, which kept me awake; this was the beginning of my tiredness coming, see later.
I also started receiving feelings of people “under my skin” – as clearly as seeing them, but it was as I write a feeling of people “under my skin” and all over my body (!) – but many times I was only given the feelings of people not strong enough to remember who it was, which I then could think about for hours while the feelings often continued and this in itself caused much suffering because I received these feelings and “not knowing” MANY times every day and it is exactly the same as getting a song on your mind, which you cannot remember what is, which I was also given MANY times – we speak about “thousands of times for years” – which was just as constantly annoying and used as tools of the darkness to stress and confuse me and really to start destroying me.
My sufferings were unstoppable and family/friends etc. and ”counsellors” could or would not help
What would you do in a similar situation, if you had a “mysterious spiritual force” inside of you, which you did not know what was about, receiving constant visions or “spiritual movies” so strongly, which you could not switch off making you stressed/annoyed all throughout the day and awake during many nights even though you had to go to work the day after? Would this make you crazy and unable to control your temper because it is “wrong” and “unfair” (?), which is what happened to me a few times in the beginning, where I strongly told this anonymous “force” to stop but no matter what I did, I eventually understood that I could do nothing about it, it was there no matter how unreasonable I felt that it was, I could only accept it until the day that I understood that I would first get out of this misery when I would have saved the world and if I did not, I would die without ever have experienced true happiness, which made me sad just to think about.
This was the “evil circle” spreading because when I told my family of my experiences, and they did not want to listen – or could not take anymore when it comes to my mother and John (!) – and did not believe in me, it was returned to me as more darkness, which is what made the spiritual experiences a nightmare to me instead of something pleasant, which would have been the case if family and friends simply had decided to listen, understand and support me, but they truly did not.
I knew that this was so powerful and also a feeling “so different” to what anyone else experiences and because I knew that no “traditional” counsellor could give me the answer to what these experiences were about, I decided to visit clairvoyants including the spiritual development centre of Arthur Findlay College in London, England, in 2005 and 2006, where my experiences increased in strength, and still I did not know what it was about, other than it was “much different” and “much stronger” than what others received, and this not knowing what it was about and my family not supporting me gave me stronger and stronger sufferings, when it kept coming to me as darkness, and it eventually started costing me friendships when people decided to leave me – for example my old colleague and at one time “best friend” Paul, who obviously could not handle what I told him of spirituality haunting me and then he just decided to leave me as a friend, which is what you did, wasn’t it, Paul (?) – and also Karen when she also starting thinking that “this is too much”, which again only meant that the suffering kept increasing.
In 2006, Heaven opened and started speaking directly to me around the clock, but darkness of mankind turned the voice into HELL!
In the spring of 2006 I started hearing the first spiritual voices first as ”weak whispering” and then gradually increasing in strength over weeks (spiritual beings speaking to me inside of my head as clearly as when another person speaks to me physically), which completely took me by surprise – I had no idea that life had this to offer – and even more when the voices presented themselves as God and the Council giving me VERY STRONG emotional experiences, when I was told that I am “the one” – which I was told during MANY nights, which is not a very easy message to receive when you have no one to speak to (!) – and for the first few weeks, I spoke to God and the Council and it was like speaking to anyone else and we laughed, joked and sang joyful songs together, but it did not take long before these voices also were directed by the faith or the contrary in me and since my family and friends in general had big problems believing in me, the voices were taken over by the Devil starting to make my life an even worse Hell than what I experienced when only receiving visions and feelings from 2004 because they started invading all of my life after they in the beginning had respected the time I had reserved to receive messages from them and soon these voices of the Devil were with me 24 hours a day speaking and stressing me all of the time not respecting my wish of being left alone and there was nothing I could do about it. This was the Devil of the world represented by my family/friends etc., which had overtaken me with the aim to kill me and the world, and from this moment on, I did not receive any privacy or mental calm for the next 5-6 years when spiritual visions, feelings and speech was with me around the clock stressing me immensely – and no one truly understood what this was about when they “could not” communicate with me.
I did not share my experiences with many people, but with the few I did, I did not experience any true “ability” to understand and support me and this also includes Lotus, Kirsten and Lis, who became my friends after meeting them at Arthur Findlay College in 2005, where after we created a meditation circle in Copenhagen, where they witnessed my development and opening with direct spiritual speech coming to me in 2006; they witnessed the first spiritual words being spoken physically out of my mouth and later I opened a channel for them to speak directly to Heaven, but despite of hearing the words of Heaven – and Hell (!) – for “a long time” they still did not have the necessary faith that this is indeed what it was, because you may have believed that I spoke the words myself not understanding that every single word came to me spiritually (?) and the more sceptical you became, the more “unserious” or “wrong” this voice became when I opened it up to you – you are exceptionally (almost) the three only people, who experienced the voice speaking directly through my mouth – and your own reactions and sceptical attitude decided for the development of this voice, smart isn’t it?
I suffered extremely without human support knowing of who I am with the whole world on my shoulders at stake
I needed someone who simply would talk to me and understand me with an open mind, give me human nearness, and I found it nowhere (!), which only became worse over the years. It was “impossible” for everyone to TRULY sit down, listen, talk, understand and support me and that is on this subject of spirituality because when I spoke about everything else, I was still the same old Stig, whom people believed in (!), but it gave me extreme suffering not to be able to speak about what was completely changing my life and especially when I knew who I was (!) and that this was about survival or termination of the Universe (!), which therefore tore me up from the inside when my own family and friends decided not to listen to me, to ridicule my “claims” and even more when wrongly abandoning me – and on top of this to receive CONSTANT negativity of the Devil through voices and feelings as you can see examples of from the next chapter together with lack of sleep for years and constant sexual temptations/sufferings as you can see from later in the memo.
Examples of my sufferings through destructive and negative voices, feelings and visions until the end of 2011
The voice and also visions/feelings kept becoming worse all of the time and in the following I give examples of the kind of sufferings I was given, which I had to surpass constantly as part of life – I could not take breaks just because I wanted to, I was kept in this extreme negativity/torture around the clock ALWAYS – and you have to imagine that this negative voice and feelings given to me was 10, 50 or 100 times stronger than myself – depending on the number of people opposing me at the same time, which was the pressure put on me – and these combined sufferings were simply as dreadful as you can imagine making me believe that I could break down at any moment, which would have started the end of the world. This is in short what caused the worst sufferings of any man in history!
It would have been as easy as NOTHING to give in to the incredible strong temptations of the darkness, and it was “impossible” to keep resisting this for years without giving in not even one single time. This is however what I decided to do, which is what created our New World of extreme beauty as the result.
Here follows examples of my sufferings.
My voice and movement of limbs was physically overtaken in 2006-07 by the spiritual world, which made me desperate and almost kill myself!
In 2006 to 2007 and maybe even 2008, this “invisible force” controlled my physical voice and all of my limbs when I was alone, which made it speak physically through my mouth, shake and move my head, arms, legs etc. thousands of times – it was incredible to look at and see when doing nothing myself (!) – as if someone was using a remote control on me and it even tickled/scratched me “everywhere” or gave me physical pain sometimes too and I have also ALWAYS had this “force” inside of me too moving around making me feel it physically both everywhere and nowhere and that is both inside of my body and feeling it outside too simply by giving me feelings of now being at my right ear, my finger tips, arms, legs and this is a “feeling” – which can feel like a hand put on me, a small whirl inside of me etc. – which is with me always and moving around my body.
At one time in 2006 when this experience was still new to me and when I felt that I did not “deserve” experience all of this suffering, I was given the physical voice speaking through me CONSTANTLY both day and night, which was so strong, that it made me desperate, I could not sleep, I could not keep my mouth closed to stop it – I tried, it was impossible (!) – and I did not know what to do to escape it, which “almost” made me take a glass of pills, but when it came to the point, I was a sissy, who did not have the courage to kill myself! It was truly TERRIBLE and I was exhausted to my maximum!
I made a number of recordings of my voice speaking physically through me in 2006, which you can get an idea of when listening to these, which are available through the folder “Recordings from 2006” from my library – and you may understand how frustrating it is to receive this voice constantly hour after hour without being able to shut it off also believing in what I was told as the truth and gradually understanding that this was a game because of the influence of the darkness of man in me.
My family etc. could not see the incredible disgusting and destructive voice given to me constantly killing me and the world, and that they were the sender!
The voice speaking to me inside of my head – as clearly as if a person was speaking to me physically – is what was causing me the most extreme and constant pain, which people could not see because this voice was inaudible to them and people did not have the imagination to understand just how destructive it was, even less that it was coming from mankind self (!) and how much suffering it gave when it spoke to me constantly only being negative and giving me disgusting feelings all of the time, which is something that can kill anybody because when you keep on receiving this voice of negativity and disgusting feelings being on your edge of giving up more or less constantly it makes you feel in despair and like throwing up as part of your life every second, hour, day, week, month and year – still with no one being “able” to listen, understand and support but instead keeping on blaming and opposing me (!) – and you will gradually become so tired of this, that you can only wish that it will stop, and when it does not, it is crossing one limit of pain after the next and next and next until you will come to a level of accepting pain, which you did not know existed, and this is how it has been. My pain level has been crossed at least “42” times, “Level 42”!
It is like people throwing stones at me – which were thrown by my family/friends etc. only wanting the best for me (!), which they of course would stop immediately if they only understood the level of pain they brought me (!) – constantly hitting me making me closer to die all of the time and still I could do nothing else than accept this and at the same time continuing to work my best because I knew that if I did not, we would all die. This was unbearable to come through every single second and at one moment in time in 2010, I was “this close” just to lie down and let the darkness take me, I could not take even one more second(!), which would be all of us, because I had no idea how I could continue taking on the immense pain I was given, but somehow I came through and the only reason was because I decided not to give up.
I received an immensely STRONG destructive voice trying to force me to ignite the Doomsday weapon and I constantly feared that it would win and terminate us all!
Every second for every hour of every day the darkness gave me negative words as speech and visions constantly trying to invade and overtake my mind and will giving me the absolute worst words – take the worst you can imagine and make it 10 times stronger (!) – crossing any thinkable limit many times.
One thing is to hear a negative voice as a human being could have spoken it, but the truly nasty part was the strength of the voice CONSTANTLY and that is “thousands of times per day”, which was based upon all of the negativity and wrong doings of my family, friends etc. to me, which were designed to match the sins of mankind, because this made the voice 10, 50 or maybe even 100 times stronger than my self with one layer upon layer of voices put on top of each other and when it was at its worst, it was so immensely dark by all of these people that I clearly felt and also met the Nazi monster itself trying to overtake me, which is what you saw released as example in the tragic killings in Oslo and the island of Utoya, Norway, in July 2011, which was not about “how could God allow it” (?) but directly fed by the darkness of a selfish world not doing enough to help the poor and suffering people of the world.
This was the voice of the world – your wrong conduct of life – forced upon me, LITTERALLY so much stronger than myself giving an ENORMOUS pressure on me (!); this was the destructive power about to kill all of us culminating with an extreme command given to me thousands of times especially in 2010 to “KILL, KILL, KILL” and to ignite the “bomb of Nixon” – the Doomsday weapon – which I would have done if this incredible strong darkness had succeeded to overtake my will, which it was “this close” to doing every single second for every hour of every day and I was constantly kept on my extreme edge of what I could handle and constantly afraid of “losing it” with the termination of the world as the consequence! This was truly a constant nightmare – and no one “could” listen to and understand me!!!
The voice was so strong that it brought me to my knees when it penetrated my body and mind trying to stick to me and change my will into being negative/destructive
This is the first time I write about how the negative voices come to me thousands of times each day – varying in strength depending on the number of people opposing and behaving wrongly towards me on a daily basis: I feel disgust and a negative voice coming through the air towards me (negative feelings and wrong doings of people brought to me spiritually and I felt this in the air everywhere around me with darkness covering every single thought and this is “VERY dense”) and when it hits me, it automatically tries to penetrate all of my body and mind, which makes my muscles contract, my neck to “shrink” and my whole body to physically huddle/fall down, and when meeting this, I have to physically resist these attacks, actively be on my alert all of the time without being able to rest mentally and use my mind actively against this incredible strong voice trying to take me and make me decide to be negative/destructive and “kill, kill, kill” instead of being positive, which however is what I decided to be “against all odds” all of the time.
When the voice was at its absolutely strongest in 2010, I felt it coming to me very often as a dark coat covering me and also as a sticky black spider’s web trying to penetrate me, giving me pricking dark feelings to my skin, trying to stick to me and change the will of my mind into being negative/destructive just as Spiderman was overtaken by the dark net in the movie Spiderman 3, and it was the worst imaginable feeling, which was “this close” to take me and bring us down – to push the button of the “Doomsday weapon” or “the bomb of Nixon” as it called it – which I only avoided with the use of extreme work and will power repeating to my self over and over again – thousands of times every single day and that is ALWAYS (!) – that “I WILL NEVER GIVE UP”, “everything is to become positive”, “keep on, keep on, keep on!”, to speak directly against the darkness without becoming negative myself (not even once!) but by telling the darkness “WRONG” or “this is negative” as my comment to all of the negativity I was told (instead of accepting it) – again thousands of times – which was also about separating negativity from positivity of the world to be used as foundation when creating our New World and I also had to MANY times shake my head physically to shake off the darkness from me.
The voice was so strong on its strongest that it put words like “I accept doing this or that” directly into my mouth trying to make me accept to hurt/kill people, start the destruction of the world etc. and in these situations, I had to be even stronger than the darkness penetrating my mind and voice by going a level deeper deciding that my will underneath the voice and thoughts given to me will NEVER give in to the darkness even in this “desperate” situation when it actually had overtaken me, which was so strong that I was almost crying in despair not knowing what to do.
The darkness tried to destruct the spirits of my mother and father, thus the world and my worst experience ever was when the crying spirit of my mother showed herself physically asking for her life
Around the clock, the negativity included all kind of curses and swearing and I received STRONG negative comments and thoughts about everyone and everything for example “I truly don’t want to do this”, “I wish the worst for you”, “you get what you deserve”, “shut up”, “I cannot stand you” etc., also including an extreme force to bring destructive negativity to the spirits of my mother and father because they were the ones bringing the darkness to me to deflect and later to convert into light after reconnecting with the Source in 2010 (!) with the aim to hurt and even to kill them – and the spirits of my mother and father were as you know my own inner selves (!) – and these words and wishes were given to me automatically, which I actively had to stop every time.
The darkness was especially ALL OF THE TIME let us just say “more than eager” to kill (the spirit of) my mother both with sexual torments and my “old nightmare”, see later, and also thousands of times trying to use my disappointment of my mother not being “able” to truly read and understand my scripts objectively, thus who I am, and because of this sadness, the “rationale” was that she had to die, and again, you have to imagine receiving this voice – coming because of my mother self opposing and simply not understanding me (!) – with maybe 10 or 50 times my own strength, this is how strong it was, and still I had to reject it all of the time. My mother was in practise doing everything to kill me, herself and the world and this is what was needed in order to save the world when all of our sufferings were transformed to energy on the other side (!) and of course under condition that I would be strong enough to take these sufferings on me. I did everything I could to save my mother because of my love to my mother, no one was going to kill her, not even herself!
I knew that this darkness was given to me because of the laziness of my family etc. to read me in order to understand and their wrong doings in relation to me including to stab me in my back when speaking to others wrongly about me and my mother was the worst because of her misunderstandings (!) and this made her the favourite victim of the darkness doing EVERYTHING for years also trying to convince me that by eliminating her, my own suffering would decrease because of the energy she would release (!), and I was kept in doubts about this for a VERY long time, but my answer kept on being despite of being on my extreme edge of survival NO, NEVER IN MY LIFE (!) and this is the story of how my mother was killing me at the same time as I with the rest of “energy not existing” made her survive also from aggressive cancer and a collapsed lung, which is what was given to her because of the darkness of my family misunderstanding me firstly by my sister, Sanna, but also my mother’s husband, John.
If I had accepted my mother to be killed it would have killed the Holy Spirit of the world, which would not have been good to the world to say the least (!!!), and I remember in 2010 when the voice of the darkness almost had overtaken me putting the words “I don’t care what happens to my mother” into my mouth and mind, which I was not strong enough to resist, that the spirit of my mother showed herself to me more clearly than ever before in a physical vision with tears in her eyes asking for her life, which is the most terrible experience I have ever had, which still brings me tears just writing about it as I do here. The darkness almost made me kill the spirit of my mother, thus my mother, a part of myself and this would have killed the world because she is the Holy Spirit of the world. This is how close we were to termination of the world!
You may understand that it would have been easier than “nothing” to comply with the negative and destructive voice given to me and it was “impossible” to resist it, but it was the difference between termination and survival. And again, it is impossible for me to describe in words just how incredible awful this negative voice was to me constantly bringing me to my knees and that is CONSTANTLY – you will have to use your best imagination skills!
I had to accept the disgusting attacks of the darkness without becoming negative, which would have started the physical destruction of both me and the world
The darkness kept coming to me, which I had to deflect to save the world and later to use as building blocks when turning the darkness into the light of our New World and it was so disgusting and uncomfortable that the only thing I wanted was to remove it every single second, but if I had decided to speak negatively against it, which is what it tried to make me do all of the time (!), I would receive instant and even stronger darkness as the result, which would be more than I could bear resulting in the start of the end of the world without being used for the creation of our New World.
I was put under such extreme pressure with constant stress, lack of sleep and receiving the worst provocations and speech imaginable all of the time, that the natural human reaction – of people of the old world – would have been to lose my temper and say loudly “I have had enough, stop what you are doing” and to add some very negative words too, which however would have been catastrophic to do. I had to accept the disgusting darkness coming to me – and encouraging it to keep on coming by telling it “give me the best you got” and “come on, all of you” (!) – to remove the imbalance of the world, and if I did not, the same destructive darkness would be given to the world.
If I had decided not to continue taking on darkness and also working on my scripts and website, the darkness would start winning a set – as in a tennis match – and I decided that I did not want the darkness to win even a set – either by giving up or losing my own faith to “the weak voice of the light”, which was also an immense force given to me (!) – because it would break down my moral and it would make the darkness even stronger starting the destruction of the world, which would also be the physical destruction of me with the right side of me being the Universe and the left side of me the spiritual world and I would literally be broken down to accept the agenda of the darkness using me as the tool of destruction of the world instead of creation, which would include my “old nightmare” – doing with my spiritual mother (disguised as a beautiful lady) as what Joseph did to his daughter Elisabeth in Austria – to come through. I went through the worst sufferings of any man in history, but I really only saw the surface of it compared to what would have happened if the Armageddon had started to destruct me and the world if I had given up or starting to lose “sets”.
I lived with the fear of entering the negative speech and thoughts so strongly given to me and “hanging in the air all around me” for every second for years fighting it with everything I had – and more – to avoid it, and I succeeded not even once to enter the negative speech of the darkness after having fought it what may have been millions of times since 2006. My task was to avoid giving in to the constant negative thinking and speech forced upon me and I did it!
It was INCREDIBLE painful when I had to work and meditate being the absolutely most tired to save the world believing that the world would end and all of us bleed to death at any moment
When I was the most tired, I was often given the worst of all sufferings and work needed to do in order not to lose to the darkness, and it was INCREDIBLE painful and awfully distressing when I had to stay up at nights meditating to fight the darkness directly not to start the destruction of the world, answering “very difficult” riddles in order to reconnect with the Source in the summer of 2010 about who I am – the spirits of my mother and father, thus not an individual soul, which also brought me much suffering in itself (!) – not truly knowing if I had answered correctly and waiting for the destruction of the world to start at any moment, for myself and everyone else to start bleeding to death and for the last time to have seen and spoken to my family, which is what I was given very strong feelings of and thought would happen for a long period of time most strongly in the Easter of 2009 including the following week when meeting the NGO, the Lutheran World Federation in Switzerland with no sleep, EXREME exhaustion and still having to do my best work “interviewing” and “challenging” the management/key persons of this “organization”, and the summer and autumn of 2010 “marathon meditating” at home to save the world. This was STRESS as no one has ever received before, which was really much “more than I can bear”, but I did it!
It continued throughout 2010 and 2011 when I also had to do the most critical work as part of the creation of the New World being the most tired and exhausted doing “impossible” work for example when working my best at Falck including to write my Falck memo when I suffered much – without giving up, which I was “this close” to doing – to bring enough energy for the spirits of my mother and father to turn around the spiritual world in the summer of 2011 etc., which physically made me receive high frequent prickly sensations and discomfort to my skin to reflect the on-going work on the Universe, i.e. I felt on my body when work was done to the Universe, which it often was, and just the mental strain knowing what I was doing and that I could not fail, because if I did, it would be catastrophic to the world, was also much “more than I can bear”, but we also did this!
I was given CONSTANT STRESS by the voice speaking constantly, giving me new ideas, questions, speculations and TESTS constantly breaking me down even when I could take no more
Especially since 2009, when I left Denmark for 4½ months to Kenya from the time when I decided to become a non sinner (!) and ever since, I have been given EXTREME STRESS with the voice constantly speaking to me for example on “what do you want to do with this and that”, giving me SUGGESTIONS ALL OF THE TIME of what to include in my scripts, which was impossible for me to include all of, but still I did the best I could to include most because this is what I had to do in order to be stronger than the darkness; I knew that I simply HAD to write what I agreed myself was RIGHT to write even when I was breaking down, otherwise the darkness would become stronger than I, this was the name of the game and the voice with ideas and also questions and “speculations” of this and that kept on coming again and again and again even when I had no more energy and could not take anymore, which caused immense suffering – it just kept on coming without any “considerations” (!) – and at the same time I had to keep doing difficult work under the worst conditions also making difficult decisions of what to include in our New World without having the necessary time to think as carefully as I would have liked to and we speak about STRESS, which no one has ever had before – as the same voice here tells me – which made it impossible for me for example for weeks to remember the streets of Nairobi I was walking on because I was constantly given new thoughts and ideas to handle in my mind, which took away my concentration, at the same time as I still received constant negativity too and often had to lead “completely normal” conversations with people – Elijah and others – (with the voice still speaking inside of my head), and all of this stress, much work and constant tiredness is what made me feel like a zombie. I was constantly receiving (more or less) a “heavy head” with darkness literally removing my ability to think, work, concentrate, feeling heat inside of me, I was sweating, receiving throw-up feelings, a blurred vision and being dizzy when crossing my extreme limits of capacity. I was a living dead for years!
As part of “the game” I was constantly met by new challenges/tests to solve satisfactory in order to continue to the next level of the game – the game of survival – which as a general rule broke my own rhythm and plans of what to do, which was very difficult to accept when you work as I do where it is a matter of honour to do your best and to keep your deadlines/time, and part of this was also to keep stressing me by giving me constant changes of life with new work, new people, new places to live etc. without being able to come into some kind of stability and rhythm of life. This is what crossed the traffic law inside of my head.
Deceptions and wrong doings of my family etc. gave me spiritual deceptions and a nightmare when they thought I was crazy not understanding that they were feeding my spiritual voice themselves!
I was constantly given spiritual information and explanations about the world, myself and others especially of what they thought of me – much about the theme “do they believe in me or not” and frequently with contradicting information – which was “driving me crazy” (!) and for a large part due to speculations of my mother about me (!) – her feelings were given to me directly – and I did not know what was the truth and what was deceptions of all of this spiritual information given to constantly including the stories given to my scripts, which was a true NIGHTMARE to go through because it kept on coming all of the time and the same story could be repeated as “speculations” over and over again by the voice inside of my mind for hours, which was totally against how I am myself also making me frustrated receiving wrong feelings of people the same way as I very often was given strong and wrong feelings to be lazy, sceptical and impatient coming from other people behaving wrongly directly to me and of course feelings I don’t normally have myself.
It was nothing less than a truly awful experience to me when family/friends etc. thought I was crazy or deliberately making things up because of this spiritual voice coming to me when they “could” not understand the simple truth that the voice was given to me as a reflection of their own lies and wrong doings, thus the world – God is the sum of everything, so this is what you were forcing upon me. They thought I was crazy, but what they saw through my spiritual voice, when I in rare cases spoke with my spiritual voice, and what they especially could read about in my scripts, was the sins of the world represented by themselves, which they of course could not believe in, that was impossible! They were my “crazy” voice, but they were too “crazy” to understand!
I was forced to write my scripts as a reflection of the “crazy world” with a strong overweight of darkness and still I needed to make it credible enough for people eventually to believe in, and what was decisive in the end was that I decided to do my absolutely best quality work also when explaining this fact to the world through my website. If I had not, the world would not have believed in me and we would not have been sitting here today.
Other negative feelings – sadness, temper, laziness/impatience, selfishness etc. – was given to me directly from family/friends etc., which I constantly also had to overcome
I constantly received INCREDIBLE STRONG and negative feelings – coming directly to me from family, friends, colleagues, the system etc. (!) – putting a constant pressure and discomfort on me, which made me want not to see people, not to keep my agreements, not to speak (!), to be sad/depressed/cry, temper (sometimes VERY strong), nervous, uncomfortable, superiour, lazy, impatient/restless, careless and I also felt lack of concentration and a boundless resistance/disgust to write my scripts, which I always had to overcome – besides from terrible tiredness of course – knowing that this was my weapon to defeat the darkness and without the scripts, we would cease to exist (!) – this is the degree of darkness and disgust given to me, and I was constantly given a very strong sexual desire – again I was a reflection of the world – which I could get no relief from because of my situation without a partner and when this was the case, I received the strongest temptations do what is wrong using the Internet as “substation”, which however would also lead to our destruction. I had stopped all of this earlier, and now lived a “clean life” having to absorb the sins of everyone else being brought to me.
I received the strongest selfish feelings – again from my family/friends etc., i.e. the world – to think about myself and all of the nice things I could by for myself and to forget my LTO friends in Kenya – as my family encouraged me to do several times (!) – but if I had done this, I would have cut the line to the only people in the world believing in me for a period of time and their desire/opportunity to read my scripts, which was vital for them to keep their faith and without this, the world would also have gone under.
I received the STRONGEST feelings to “forget” about the voices speaking to me and live a life as I used to live also because I had no desire at all to become “the one” (!) and when this happened, the voices inside of me were “almost quiet” making the temptation even greater to “forget this misery” brought to me, which would have been the same as “forgetting all life” also leading to destruction, and the reason of this feeling given to me was my “concerned” family seeing my voices as the worst nightmare only wishing for them to disappear without understanding what it was about.
For a period of time I had the voice speaking to me in meditations so strongly and so cleverly– because of all the people who were feeding it – that I was inferior with no chance to “survive” this and sometimes I had to “block” out this voice by humming and ignoring it the best I could and at other times I told it “come on, you don’t stand a chance”, which was truly even more uncomfortable than you can think of – again fearing the negative consequences all the time if losing to this much stronger opponent – and at other times, the voice of darkness started asking me trick questions, which I cannot repeat here, which was again much more clever than I, which were “almost impossible” to escape from but since I knew that this was no good, I decided simply not to answer them and to keep my own “few rules”, but difficult it was when the questions kept coming with much strength.
These are examples of feelings – besides from pure and destructive negativity – given to me constantly, which I also had to fight and to overcome as my test for light to overcome darkness.
In 2010, everything was feeling ROTTEN and music sounded terrible as a symbol of the Devil almost destroying the world – we were practically not living!
When I heard people facing difficulties, the voice instantly gave me speech/thoughts “they get what they deserve” etc. and when I heard about bad news around the world – disasters, murders etc. – the darkness gave me instant feelings of “happiness”. This was the negativity of the world sent to God inside of me through the spirit of my father and the Holy Spirit through the spirit of my mother.
In 2010, I received the STRONGEST feelings of everything feeling rotten and unbearable to experience, which could be food tasting poorly and especially music sounding “completely disgusting”, which was so strong that everything including my favourite music for a period of time was “impossible” to listen to – music was “hanging me out of the throat” – and music is “my love for people” and this was about people who was killing me and the world.
This was at approximately the same time when I reconnected with the Source in the summer of 2010, where we practically was not living in order to pass the darkness of “nothing”, and in this period I was often shown visions and dreams of eggs destructing with eggs being the result of creation, i.e. the Universe, which was truly as unpleasant as it gets to experience bringing me this “cold sweat” of constant nervousness of termination.
I had reached the limit, where I could not take any more negativity, constant pain and potential destruction, I was completely fed up with it since it came to me always constantly every second, forever and ever it seemed, totally without joy and happiness.
The darkness strongly tried to make me set up new rules and decide as most ignorant and dictatorial managers would have done, which would have made the creation of our New World impossible!
The dark voice tried constantly to make me set up rules of this and that for what I could accept and what I could not, which is what a typical manager of today would have done, but I decided for a few rules only, and that was for the darkness not to kill me, my parents and coming “servants” are the best protected of all people, not to disable me and to protect my writings from being removed from the Internet as the most important. If I had started to make up “hundreds of rules” as the darkness kept on tempting me to do – on a daily basis – and also for me to remember, the darkness would have misused this ultimately making it impossible to find a working formula for our New World, which we then would have to give up when it would have become impossible to create.
Only by giving the spirits of my mother and father FREEDOM to do what they were so much more skilled than I to do, they could create our New World, and I simply had to resist the constant temptation given to me with MUCH force – much coming from my sister – to do what a “normal manager” of today would do, which is to decide on subjects, he/she is not the most skilled to do.
Since 2006, I have had two conversations when meeting people, both physically and with the voice inside of me, sometimes with an incredible desire just to lay down in despair and give up
When speaking/listening to other people it was NOT a given thing that my voice would stop speaking to me just because I was “busy”, and in most situations since 2006 (!), I was leading two conversations when being together with other people, both physically with a person at the same time as I was receiving the voice of Hell actively inside of me many times giving me very rough times and an incredible desire just to lay down in despair and give up – and here I feel Obama too as “another part of me”, and this may come as a surprise to many people, because we still managed to be outgoing generally and also to listen herewith giving people a good impression of us (!) – which I however never did, and I had this voice as example inside of me when holding all job interviews with candidates to work for Acta in 2007 – as I did every day when working for Acta and everywhere else where I was physically after 2006 – and when I for example was attending services at church in Kenya in 2009 or in Lyngby in 2010 and also Buddhist Centres in 2010/11 where I truly had to listen and understand to be able to write my scripts, it became almost impossible because I had to drown out the constant speech given to me inside of my head constantly trying to remove my focus, and still my aim was to overcome this darkness and to make people understand that I listened to and understood them, which they (gladly) did and in some cases this was people knowing and being visible happy that I understood them, who however could not “handle” listening to or reading me to understand me (!), which as an example includes the pastors of the church in Lyngby.
From 2006-09 I received spiritual indications of sexual misuse of children because this was part of the communities, where I lived, which was dreadful in itself to receive
From 2006 until 2009 when I was living in Hørsholm, the Devil almost daily gave me negative voices and sometimes also visual “indications” on the sexual misuse of children in order to “hurt me” – in 2006 and 2007 I very often heard the word “child molester” in Hørsholm and I remember being told that this was because of children in the community being misused and this was truly as unpleasant to receive as I cannot express. I have never had any desire to misuse children myself; it truly makes me feel repulsive but I understand that misuse of children was part of the “game” of the Devil too because mankind decided to turn evil, and you may remember the story of Catholic priests around the world who was given this curse of the darkness – symbolising their congregations (!) – which they could not reject. They took on part of the darkness of the world, which their victims did too.
Spiritually inspired and negative speech given to other people on sexuality etc. also made me suffer
Almost on a daily basis I received “invisible information” through other people either in real life or on television as you can read MANY examples of from my scripts, when people were given a symbolic language, which I understood through my practise for years, which often included good speech, but also often what I understood as disgusting temptations and language of the Devil often with a sexual reference to my “old nightmare”.
I felt how the tone of people “just like that” could change from positive to negative because of the spiritual world working directly through people fuelled by the darkness of man. This will probably be difficult for people to understand, but this is how it was, I was given special “feelings” myself and also spiritual speech if necessary to understand “inspired speech” of others and it was a TRUE suffering too because I could not escape from these voices of other people, and I was the only one understanding them.
Starvation is difficult and made me suffer in 2010, but nothing compared to the tiredness and the negative voice/feelings I was given haunting and killing me constantly
In 2010, I experienced a few months of starvation, where I had almost nothing to eat, which made me constantly hungry and suffer, but please believe me, this was NOTHING compared to the other sufferings I went through – tiredness and the negative voice haunting and killing me constantly – knowing who I am and what this was about without anyone being “able” to speak to me.
Continuing visions, unrecognisable songs and “feelings of people” were part of my “constant sufferings”
In periods visions given to me continued without pausing and I still continued to receive many “songs on my mind” frustrating me when thinking “what song is this” and the feelings of people I could not identify “under my skin”, which also could be well known actors and “all kind of people” and try to imagine for example receiving the same song over and over again hundreds of times, and you do know the song but it is kept as only recognizable and not identifiable before after maybe several hours. This may sound as nothing but in my situation it was part of “constant suffering” every day.
And did I write that EVERY SINGLE TIME a person has spoken to me, I have received feelings of disgust to speak, negative speech and thoughts about people speaking a desire to speak negatively to them – but doing the opposite – and that is every single time for years, and just so you know my friends :-).
Other spiritual sufferings
These are some other examples of other spiritual sufferings given to me as I recall, and you will probably find even more in my scripts, which I have forgotten about when this is written.
Ÿ I always had to “hold back” the speech of the darkness – almost as if you hold back from going to the toilet when needed – and if I had let it go, I would receive not only negativity but also rubbish after rubbish, which I understood I should keep away from because of an old déjà vue about exactly this as I received as a boy.
- Not knowing if everything I kept on receiving was the truth or not was KILLING me (!) and it requires the patience of an angel to wait for years to find out what is the truth about all of the stories I have received. I have often felt the eagerness of “wanting to know now”, which I have had to postpone, which was not always easy to do.
- When I stopped my heavy smoking in 2009, the IMMENSE feelings given to me meant that I went through the same sufferings as when a drug addict stops his addiction, and I had to continue working my absolutely best (doing my memo’s on the best labour market in the world) and still going through all other sufferings, which was truly “almost impossible” to do.
- For a period of “many months” in 2006/07, I very often received a spiritual voice telling me a few seconds before people were speaking, the words they were going to say or what I would read later in a newspaper article when I was reading it, which was truly frustrating too.
- Often in 2011, I “walked through spirits” in my apartment, which were everywhere, and I was given STRONG feelings of spirits walking behind me or even standing in front of me when I had my eyes closed and “as clearly as a physical being” standing in front of you, which may sound as “nothing”, but “truly very uncomfortable” too.
I moved to Helsingør in October 2011 to “celebrate” my victory without knowing that I first had two months of the WORST darkness to cross to liberate the King trapped inside of darkness
When I moved to Helsingør in October 2011, it was with the feeling that ”we did it – I will now move home to my new Kingdom to celebrate” but I decided to keep working on my website and the memo of ”my sufferings” until I would finish, which I first did in December 2011, and these two months showed out to become the hardest of all with “negative experiences” with the city of Helsingør harassing me and believing I was crazy, which I have written about elsewhere in this memo, my meditation group condemning and rejecting me together with other groups on the Internet doing the same (also written elsewhere) and my close family/friends etc. obtaining greater faith in me through a sign given to me by my sister showing her faith in me but still a deafening silence with no one having the “courage” to speak about “me”, “my sufferings”, experiences and “importance to the world” herewith still keeping our conversations as “surface communication” speaking about “all and nothing”, but not about “everything” of my experiences and what people were really thinking about and also speaking about behind my back!
These people and experiences brought me so much darkness that I went through the worst part of all to liberate the King of my inner self trapped by the darkness using the Source to destroy life rather than to create without even knowing about it as part of the plan of darkness self, and this was an “impossible” task because darkness had set up its “code” never to be converted back to light, and it required the strongest feelings of all to do, which was given to me when I sent the memo of “my sufferings” in December 2011 to my close family – my mother/John, father/Kirsten, Sanna/Hans, Niklas/Tobias, Inge/Ove (aunt and husband) and Karen/Denis – with an introduction to the contents and my encouragement for them to read and understand it word by word with the purpose to understand the objective truth and to obtain faith in me and who we all are.
I did not get any feedback on this from my family but Karen “felt” that she had to distance herself to my “negative writings” also on her (!), so she decided to send a reply to all of the recipients telling everyone about me being “hopelessly self-centred” and that she does not have time to read my “selfish writings” – misunderstood of course – and this did the job to bring so much negative thoughts especially to my mother about me that I could enter the STRONGEST darkness of all asking the King trapped inside if he would like to join me to become the shipmaster of our New World opening up and bringing energy of the Source to the world, which he eventually accepted when the darkness trapping him realised that I was strong enough to complete this – bringing the entire world with me for this battle – and that he did not any longer have access himself to the Source herewith removing his ability to “shoot me down” after we had removed his access to create more darkness in the Easter 2011.
This plan was based on “simple feelings” of “simple minds” of my family with Karen feeling strongly against me, but wrongly, and my mother taking her party against me without telling me so I could help her to understand the truth, and without reading the truth about this in my script of the 14th December 2011, where Karen in another email not sent to the family (!) also “offered” me to become her “personal assistant” and eventually to move together with her and her daughter Caroline abroad, and even though she could not offer me salary nor sex (!), this was however her way to show me that her strong and true feelings of love to me was intact; she still wanted us to be together, which eventually helped opening the locked barrier of this “railway crossing” before TIME would make it too late with the extinction of this part of the original Source as the consequence.
All of the experiences I went through here becoming stronger every day took out EVERYTHING from me – people around me literally soaked out my energy because of their wrong doings, which they could not see themselves (!) making me extremely tired and exhausted, but still I decided to continue working my “best under the circumstances” until the end – but I would accept ”no termination” of life inside of darkness and stood firm to get EVERYTHING with us to our New World including the part of the original Source trapped inside here, which cost a fantastic exertion not only from me but also from my close family when I understood that my father had received “serious stomach cancer” making my aunt “concerned” about him, my aunt self breast cancer and I was spiritually told that my mother had become “sick” again without wanting to tell me (to avoid being revealed to the world in my scripts, which is the “worst” she knows of), which she had to have an operation for and I understood that this could also only be cancer, and these “sicknesses” made me feel VERY sad also when I could not tell them of the déjà vue I received that “this was to absorb darkness according to plan to release the Source”, which would be “impossible” for them to understand, and instead of bringing comfort and faith to them, they continued fighting these “sicknesses” fearing that this would be the end of their lives, which was also energy brought into this “game”.
At the absolute end up to Christmas 2011, I had to insert the physical lives of my mother and I to be sacrificed – but NO termination (!) – if needed in order to bring energy to get “everything” with us, because this is how important this part of the original Source is to our New World and also because I will accept NO loss of life (!), and in order to avoid these sacrifices to be given, I had to work my best with only very little sleep again with the treats hanging over my head of my beloved mother or myself to die or to risk losing life of the Source, which would be “unacceptable” to me and “very poor” to our New World, and you really have to read my daily scripts to understand the pressure I was under and just how beaten black and blue I was when going through this, but EVERYTHING was the goal and EVERYTHING it became, and that is 100,00% without having to extrapolate new code in order to get access to the Source of our New World, which would never become as good a solution as the original.
The sufferings were constantly keeping me on my edge of breaking down and giving up with termination of the world as the consequence
All of this constant suffering, negativity and destruction was literally killing me, I had no mental calm at any time when I constantly had to be alert to fight more darkness, I was always switched “on”, and this mental pain and lack of rest was among the worst of all sufferings, which is like working at the absolute edge of your capacity 24 hours a day – day in day out – without truly resting.
For years I worked on my extreme limit almost giving up all of the time constantly fearing the negative consequences and sometimes almost wishing just to lie down and let the darkness take me, which would give me calm (!), and to this day I don’t know how I managed to go through all of the tests and constant sufferings I was given, because it was a fight every second and minute of the day but time heals all wounds as they say and we know one day there will be light only without darkness, and this is also what kept me going, my faith that the darkness could be defeated and my will power deciding that I WILL NEVER GIVE UP!
Do you have any idea of just how much this took out of me for years (?) – you will NEVER be able to fully understand!
I had no energy and was TIRED as a living dead
Read this, the next chapter of my sufferings here.
This website was first published November 12, 2011, and has since been updated few times.