- Misunderstandings kept my father and I apart much of our lives, which made us both hurt much because underneath the surface, I love my father very much as I know he loves me too :-).
- After divorcing, my mother and father expressed their negative feelings of each other to me, which was a big suffering of mine as a child, where I only wanted them to be able to be together.
- We had good relations a few years before my father met his present wife Kirsten in the end of the 1970’s, where after our relationship deteriorated because of her morbid jealousy and acquisitiveness.
- I was extremely disappointed that my father did not truly stand up for his right, but accepted the agenda of his wife herewith prioritizing a new family and life of “comfort” instead of his own son!
- Over the years, I could not take the selfishness, misunderstood self-satisfaction and unreasonable behaviour of my father and Kirsten, and eventually our relation had to “explode” as it did in 2009.
- I decided to stop our communication in August 2009 also because I always contacted my father and because I always asked the questions – it requires two active parties to have a “relationship”.
- My father WRONGLY believed that he was the one trying to keep in contact, when “you shut yourself out for long periods” without understanding that it was his wrong behaviour “forcing” me out!
- I told my father directly: You only hear your own (wrong) voice, have self-pity, you are not open, don’t communicate/understand, are unreasonable and lack respect – you have been a poor father!
- After reconnecting with the Source in 2010, I desperately needed positive energy to survive (!), and I asked to see my father if he would be “be open and positive” and I said “I am the same Stig as always”.
- My father decided to reject me: “You are mentally sick”, which “you cannot see yourself”, “I cannot remember when you have made me happy” and ”maybe you will acknowledge being a poor son”!
- My father’s misunderstood rejection was “this close” to terminate us because of the EXTREME darkness he brought me giving me my most critical and one of my WORST experiences ever!
- UPDATE JUNE 2013: My father died January 10, 2013, but his wife decided to keep it secret to me until today when my aunt told me!!!
Below follows the full version of this page.
I had poor relations with my father most of my life because of his strong, wrong voice, inability to communicate and negative influence of his wife’s morbid jealousy and acquisitiveness
Misunderstandings kept my father and I apart much of our lives, which made us both hurt much because underneath the surface, I love my father very much as I know he loves me too 🙂
Since my mother and father was divorced, when I was 4-5 years old, I have only had a “normal relation” with my father a few years when he lived together with Anni in the 1970’s, when he was alone for a short period thereafter until he met Kirsten, his present wife, in the end of the 1970’s, where after our relation became a constant “challenge” most of the time with my father believing that I as a son disappointed him without understanding that it was his own selfish actions and inability to listen and understand, which was the reason why – the opposite golden rule again as you can see many examples of in my scripts!
But before describing more about our “challenging” relationship, let me also here say that of course I love my father “more than anything too”, which was confirmed to me especially at those rare moments, where we were able to sit down, TALK, LISTEN and UNDERSTAND and really to relax and feel comfortable in each other’s company, and it is truly a BIG regret in my life that we had to do this to you and your father too as I am here told, which of course was also necessary in order to bring me sufferings and the spirits of my mother and father energy to reconnect with the Source.
In order to express my love to my father with the sincere hope and anticipation for us to finally receive the relationship between father and son when I will become my true previous self – also receiving tears here spiritually – which we always could have had if it was not for misunderstandings, selfishness and jealousy , I will here give you the immensely beautiful song Father & Son by Cat Stevens expressing with words just what misunderstandings can do to both Father & Son, which is to make both hurt much as both my father and I did, when both of us missed a very important part of our life – our closest relative. And yes, my physical father is my spiritual father too, and that is the man someone would like to call “God” or “the Source”, and just so you know of course – and he will probably be the most surprised of everyone to know (!) and I cannot wait and that is also to see him being the one he really is in all of his glory, when he will “wake up” too :-).
Cat Stevens and Ronan Keating singing the very beautiful song of Father & Son, who could not understand each other, but still they loved each other, just like my father and I
After divorcing, my mother and father expressed their negative feelings of each other to me, which was a big suffering of mine as a child, where I only wanted them to be able to be together
I will not write the ”life story” of my father and I here, but say that he and my mother divorced when I was 4-5 years old – because he was unfaithful (!) – and since that time, my mother has had negative feelings about and criticized him most of my life, which has been unbearable for me to listen to at the same time as my father has been criticizing my mother too – mostly when I was a child disagreeing with her way of raising me (!) – and this is just about the WORST you can do to a child without the presence of the other parent because by nature the child of course loves both his mother and father very much and don’t like to take the part of one over the other and especially because I have NEVER liked anyone speaking negatively about others behind their back!
I have always wanted my parents to be able to speak normally together and to be in the same room – as a child this was my biggest wish of all (!) – which happened “a few times” over the years when my sister succeeded both to invite my mother/John and my father/Kirsten for birthdays, but a couple of “incidents” some years ago with uncontrollable temper of Kirsten and my mother over “nothing” (!) made it “impossible” to repeat. This is sadly how life is – and soon was.
We had good relations a few years before my father met his present wife Kirsten in the end of the 1970’s, where after our relationship deteriorated because of her morbid jealousy and acquisitiveness
I had a good relation with my father when he lived together with Anni in Ganløse in the 1970’s – with the high point being our fantastic holiday in a cottage house north of Motala in Sweden in the FANTASTIC summer of 1975, therefore (!) – and also when they broke when he lived alone a couple of years – where we came closer to each other than ever before for example watching some football matches at Kastrup Stadium and doing a little bit together what fathers and sons normally do – but it did not take long until he met his present wife Kirsten in the end of the 1970’s and since then, we have NOT had a normal relationship because of her morbid jealousy where she would have liked more than anything to cut relations to his old family and children (!), which he however denied, and with this as “foundation”, we tried for years to “get along”.
I was with them every other weekend as a teenager, and even though I liked many of Kirsten’s good sides, which I did and still do, our relations deteriorated over the years when my father became more selfish and influenced by his wife’s “sick” mind and “completely uncontrollable temper” blaming me and everyone else – she is a copy of Pia Kjærsgaard from the Danish People’s Party (!) – and even though she has love as her foundation too, she has much darkness inside of her making her incredible domineering, jealous and having acquisitiveness of my father, and gradually she succeeded to remove my father both from me and also from my sister by making her disinherited (!) because she is not the “true” child of my father, but has always considered my father as her father too, which made my sister understandable incredible sad, which I truly understood because this is some of the worst I have EVER seen!
I was extremely disappointed that my father did not truly stand up for his right, but accepted the agenda of his wife herewith prioritizing a new family and life of “comfort” instead of his own son!
Kirsten gradually removed what I do believe is the voice of my father and his desire both to see me and my sister – and my mother too (!) – and her “weapon” was simply for my father to not be alone but to have the “company” and comfort of a nice partner and lady “taking care of him” also cooking and cleaning up the house, which she did to “perfection” also to the satisfaction of my father. She made him more and more deaf to me because of her constant voice and influence, and I was extremely disappointed for him to be a “wimp” not truly standing up for his right and prioritizing laziness and the comfort of her over me (!), and instead of keeping relations with my sister and I, he accepted in practise a new family – how can you ever desert a child without understanding (?) – and her four children as “reserves” for me and my sister, and on the surface for him, this was not a bad exchange, because they are truly nice (!), but deep inside of him, he was suffering much because of this, which is the feeling I am given when writing this – and later he was “devastated” when he too believed I had lost my mind after publishing my scripts and website the 1st February 2010.
Over the years, I could not take the selfishness, misunderstood self-satisfaction and unreasonable behaviour of my father and Kirsten, and eventually our relation had to “explode” as it did in 2009
Over the years, I decided not to see my father and Kirsten on several occasions lasting for months or even years, because I could not accept their selfishness and apparent unreasonable behaviour wrongly emphasizing their own “good sides” and blaming the “obvious bad sides” of others without being able to look deep inside of themselves, and it was always with pain that I did not see my father, because my true feeling was that I missed a father all of my life both as a child, teeenager and grown-up; I felt that “a part of me was missing”, and I could see what I was missing trough friends having good relations with their fathers, and how much they meant in their upbringings, but I did not get the same from my own father. He was not there most of my life also when it mattered the most.
I still remember the day with SADNESS when I at the age of 20-21 years asked my father over the telephone to get a closer connection with him, where he to my big surprise told me directly “you have to understand that I now have a new family” , which completely destroyed me (!), and over the years, after not having seen each other in long periods, I tried once after the other to see them again to normalise our relation, but as the only one in my life – seriously (!) – it was simply impossible for my father and I to understand each other and eventually it had to come to a strong and clear break between him and me, when I no longer could accept to restrain my self and my own voice of the truth listening to their misunderstandings and unreasonable behaviour, and it therefore “exploded” when I told him in the emails below from August 2010 very directly the truth about him as he has never heard it before – just like Elijah and my sister to give you a couple of other examples – and “of course” it was “totally impossible” for him to accept my “extremely negative” emails to him, which he did not give a reply to before August 2010, when he told me clearly just how much I have disappointed him as a son (!), and the only difference is that I am right and he is wrong (!) – as with so many other people – and he was made a “simple mind” the same way as my mother to reflect the mindset of the world. When you don’t think and work carefully, you become a “simple mind” and when you at the same time are selfish, it gives you a wrong view of the world believing that you are right and everyone else is wrong, but my dear father, it will come to you too soon, where I will explain you what you went through and the difficulties of your life eventually leading to our necessary breakup with the ultimate goal to save the world!
I decided to stop our communication in August 2009 also because I always contacted my father and because I always asked the questions – it requires two active parties to have a “relationship”
When I was in Kenya in 2009, I was again very disappointed with my father not showing a “visible interest” in me, and I decided to send him the following email the 11th August 2009, where I told him that it is not normal for one person always contacting the other – as I did – and one part only asking questions – as I did – and therefore I had decided to stop communication. I don’t want “relationships” like this.
Det er noget tid siden, at vi skrev sammen sidst, og årsagen til at du ikke har hørt fra mig er, at jeg normalt ikke hører fra dig, og at du som regel ikke udviser nogen interesse for hvordan det går her.
Jeg tror, at du gerne vil høre fra mig, og jeg tror, at din rutine med din mor tidligere, hvor jeg forstod, at det altid var dig, the spirit of my mother kontaktede hende, måske er smittet af i forhold til mig.
Og det er jeg ked af. Vi kunne have haft et rigtigt godt far/søn forhold, hvis vilkårene havde været anderledes, og når jeg stort set aldrig hører fra dig uopfordret og når du ikke udviser stor interesse, så sker der automatisk det, at jeg mister interessen for at kommunikere med dig. Det er ikke en naturlig måde, at det altid er den ene part, som kontakter den anden, og den ene part som primært stiller spørgsmål.
Så derfor har jeg besluttet at stoppe kommunikationen, medmindre jeg oplever et ønske fra dig om noget andet og medmindre jeg oplever en større interesse fra din side.
Jeg håber, I har det godt, og jeg beder dig hilse Kirsten.
Kærlige hilsener fra
My father WRONGLY believed that he was the one trying to keep in contact, when “you shut yourself out for long periods” without understanding that it was his wrong behaviour “forcing” me out!
My father decided to send me his reply the day after the 12th August 2009 where he told me that “I don’t experience much and you have probably more to tell about” and also the apparent misunderstanding brought here as an example “let me remind you that I for many years tried to keep contact with you when you shut yourself out for long periods” and yes, he did not understand my reason for not seeing him, so of course he has “turned it around” and now it was him trying to keep in contact with me without understanding that it was his wrong behaviour – and not least his wife – which made me leave them, and what can you do about “completely deaf” people, and the answer is “nothing”, therefore!
Det er ikke bevidst at jeg ikke skriver til dig, det skyldes snarere at jeg ikke oplever så meget og at du nok har mere at fortælle om. Desuden er det noget uvant for mig at vi nu skal skrive sammen, lad mig lige minde dig om at jeg I mange år har forsøgt at holde kontakten til dig, men hvor du lukkede dig ude i lange perioder.
Jeg kan dog fortælle at vi er blevet medlem af en petanque klub hvor der arrangeres turneringer og festlige sammenkomster. Jeg måtte lige en tur på hospitalet forleden dag idet min læge havde mistanle om en blodprop i brystet. Blodprøverne så imidlertid fine ud, men jeg har ikke fået svar på skanningen, der vil nok gå nogle dage endnu.
Jeg har købt en ny cykel, næsten en racer, men tør ikke rigtig bruge den for meget før jeg får mere besked om det er OK.
Vi skal på en forlænget weekend ophold på Møen denne weekend, desværre er der dømt regnvejr.
For 2 uger siden var vi til Lizzi og Bjarnes guldbryllup på Kolle Kolle i Værløse. Det var meget festligt.
Lad mig høre om hvordan det går for dig i det mørke Afrika. Får du ordentlig mad eller er der farligt at være mv.
I told my father directly: You only hear your own (wrong) voice, have self-pity, you are not open, don’t communicate/understand, are unreasonable and lack respect – you have been a poor father!
Instead of just stopping communication hereafter with my father – as most of my friends wrongly did with me when I published my scripts in February 2010, and as everyone did when leaving me at Facebook without saying a word (!) – I decided that the only right thing to do was to explain to him once and for all THE TRUTH, which hopefully also would make it possible for him and Kirsten to start realizing their own “improvement needs”, so therefore I decided to send him the following email the 18th August 2009 and the truth is MUCH deeper than what you can see here – the wound had been cut for many years – and instead of following my recommendations to improve, he simply decided not to answer me, and we know Stig, this is really the same behaviour you have seen everywhere with people insisting on their own wrong attitude/behaviour without being “able” to change, and how difficult can it be to do what is right to do to communicate properly, be open and to have good relations, and we know I was very sad for this development, but glad that I decided to tell the truth to my father more directly than ever before.
I have decided to translate parts of my email in Danish below and to make a summary of other parts of it as follows:
When I have decided with intervals to try normalising our relation, it is me, who has contacted you and kept contact, otherwise it would stop, because you don’t contact me.
The reason why I through the years for periods have not contacted you has been because of disappointment over Kirsten’s apparent jealousy, priority of her own children, your apparent lack of strength in relation to Kirsten, which implies lack of interest in Sanna and I, your insisting and lecture that the way you experience the world is the right and because you hardly never calls and does not ask questions.
When I the last time decided to take up again our relation, I experienced scepticism that I would “disappoint” you again, reproach that I had not followed your sickness (cancer etc. in recent years hurting my father a lot) without you understanding that I have gone through experiences even worse than yours (“my invisible sufferings”), I listened to all of your feelings and lecturing – all of your “garbage” – without telling you about how I experienced things, because this would have made it impossible to resume contact with you. I have met a wall of silence from you. You have chosen not to listen and not to ask questions because of your “lack of patience to understand my Universe”. I had a “worse” sickness than you, but still you reproached me and showed me only your self-pity and big need for support – this is what you have done!
In good relations, people treat others as they would like to be treated themselves. If you don’t give what you receive, you don’t have a relation on equal terms, but lack of respect and understanding. Both parties need to show openness and understanding, and if this does not happen, you don’t have a good relation.
In your place, I would have given Kirsten an ultimatum the day, you met her or moved together with her. I would never have chosen a women instead of my children – NEVER – and I simply don’t understand how you accepted this, because this is what you did.
If you want to try to learn from the above by showing a bigger openness, empathy/interest and by showing strength towards Kirsten, we can continue our contact, otherwise my decision will remain the same. To stop our contact because you don’t motivate me to continue even though you are my father.
Because of your choices and your accept of Kirsten, you have been a poor father. And you might think that I have been a poor son, and if this is the case, the reason is simply that we have never had the opportunity to get the communication between father and son, which is necessary – as others have – to create understanding for each other and a good relation.
Here follows my full email in Danish:
Tak for din mail.
Som du forstår, havde jeg truffet en beslutning om ikke at kontakte dig igen før jeg sendte min forrige mail.
Vores relation og kommunikation er ikke og har aldrig været, som jeg har kunnet ønske. Jeg har sådan set intet ønske om at sende dig denne mail, men har besluttet at gøre det for at forklare dig sammenhængen, så du bedre kan forstå. Jeg havde hellere stoppet vores kommunikation uden denne mail.
Du skriver, at du har forsøgt at holde kontakten til mig i de år, hvor jeg ikke har kontaktet dig. Dette er ikke, som jeg har oplevet det.
- Din kontakt har i disse år ikke været til mig, men igennem Sanna, som gjorde Sanna ked af det – at skulle fungere som ”mægler” mellem dig og mig.
- Når jeg har besluttet med mellemrum at forsøge at normalisere vores relation, så er det mig, der har kontaktet dig og bevaret kontakten, ellers ville den stoppe, fordi du ikke kontakter mig.
- Årsagen til, at jeg igennem årene i perioder ikke har kontaktet dig har været på grund af skuffelse over Kirstens åbenlyse jalousi, prioritering af hendes egne børn, din tilsyneladende manglende styrke i forhold til Kirsten, som giver et indtryk af manglende interesse i Sanna og jeg, din ”insistering” og ”belæring” om, at den måde, du oplever verden på er den rigtige samt, at du stort set aldrig ringer og ikke stiller spørgsmål.
- Jeg har altid ønsket et godt forhold til dig, som når vi taler bedst sammen – som regel, når vi taler sammen alene uden Kirsten – og jeg har altid savnet et sådant forhold.
- Jeg har altid bevaret et godt forhold til Sanna og mor og kunne ønske, at det også havde været muligt med dig.
Da jeg senest besluttede mig for at genoptage kontakten til dig/jer, oplevede jeg:
- En stor skepsis fra jer om, at jeg ”igen ville skuffe jer” uden noget forsøg på at forstå, hvad der var årsagen til, at jeg i en periode ikke kunne opretholde kontakten med jer.
- En bebrejdelse af, at jeg ikke havde fulgt med i din sygdom og støttet dig, når du havde brug for det – og en uforskammet og uacceptabel opførsel fra Kirsten.
- Jeg valgte at lytte til alle jeres følelser og belæringer uden overhovedet at fortælle om hvordan jeg oplevede det, fordi så er jeg sikker på, at vi ikke havde fået genoptaget kontakten, og det var ganske enkelt en ubehagelig oplevelse at skulle modtage alt dette ”skrald” fra jer.
- Jeg fortalte jer kort – som jeg har gjort flere gange – at selvom din sygdom var slem, så har jeg været og er fortsat igennem oplevelser, som er endnu værre end dine, og at dette var årsagen til, at jeg sidste gang ikke havde kontakt til jer i en periode. Jeg havde det værre end du og hvert eneste sekund fra foråret 2006 og i princippet indtil nu har været ulideligt at komme igennem.
- På trods af dette har jeg mødt en mur af tavshed fra jer. I har valgt ikke at lytte og ikke at stille spørgsmål, fordi ”I ikke har tålmodighed til at forstå mit indre univers”. Det svarer til, at du havde en ”almindelig” sygdom og jeg en meget alvorlig sygdom, hvor I bebrejdede/belærte mig, ja skældte mig ud for ikke at være til stede og støtte dig i din sygdom. Det er faktisk det, I har gjort!
- Hvis min ”sygdom” havde været en fysisk sygdom, som I kunne se med jeres øjne, og som var endnu alvorligere end din, ville I så have valgt at tale med mig og besøge mig? Formentlig ja? Og ville I så kunne forstå, hvorfor jeg i en periode ikke havde kontakt med jer?
Og det er dette, som det handler om, far: I har ikke kunnet ”se” min ”sygdom”, hvilket har resulteret i en manglende forståelse. Du har udvist en ekstraordinær stor selv-sympati i din ”svære” tid, udvist et stort behov for støtte og support fra din egen søn, som har haft det værre end du, og som du har udvist INGEN forståelse for. Jeg klager ikke og jeg beder ikke om din sympati eller forståelse – den har jeg ikke brug for nu, dette er alene en objektiv beskrivelse af det forløb, vi har været igennem for at du kan FORSTÅ – jeg skriver ikke mailen af egoistiske årsager, men af hensyn til dig!
Når jeg snart offentliggør de to bøger, jeg har skrevet omkring det, jeg har været igennem og meget andet, så vil du forstå, hvad du er gået glip af, fordi du ikke har kommunikeret, og så vil du bedre kunne forstå graden af de urimeligheder, som du og Kirsten har stillet mig overfor.
I de fleste gode relationer er det sådan, at man behandler andre, som man selv ønsker at blive behandlet. Hvis ikke man giver det samme, som man modtager, så er det ikke lige vilkår – så er det mangel på respekt og forståelse. Begge parter skal udvise åbenhed og forståelse, og sker det ikke, så har man ikke en god relation.
Den måde, som I behandlede Sanna på, er noget af det mest urimelige, jeg har set i mit liv – og jeg ved, at du har været en ”lus mellem to negle”, men dette er et eksempel på, hvad jeg mener med ”manglende styrke” i forhold til Kirsten. Ville hun nogensinde behandle et af sine egne børn på samme måde? Og det er den måde, som Sanna altid har set dig: Som et af dine børn. Man skal aldrig acceptere urimeligheder af denne karakter, det har ødelagt relationen mellem dig og Sanna – og ikke gjort din og min relation nemmere – og den eneste, der formentlig er glad, er Kirsten. Det er en forkert adfærd, og i dit sted havde jeg sat mig i respekt overfor Kirsten, hvilket jeg ville have gjort fra den allerførste dag – ligesom du i sin tid valgte at komme til min konfirmation, som et de gode eksempler. Ellers har jeg altid oplevet, at Kirsten ”har vundet”, og du har trukket dig for at skabe ”fred”, men på Sannas og min bekostning. Og derfor har vi stadig de problemer, som vi har den dag i dag. I dit sted havde jeg givet Kirsten et ultimatum den dag, du mødte hende eller flyttede sammen med hende. Jeg ville aldrig vælge en kvinde frem for mine børn – ALDRIG – og jeg forstår ganske enkelt ikke, at du har accepteret dette, fordi det er det, du har gjort.
Og det er bemærkelsesværdigt, at Kirstens børn har/har haft en tættere kontakt til din familie, end jeg nogensinde har haft. Du husker sikkert, at jeg igennem årene flere gange har sagt, at jeg gerne ville have en tættere kontakt til din familie, men der har i praksis intet initiativ været fra din side. Jeg har nu haft lidt kontakt med Inge, og jeg ville kunne have haft et RIGITGT godt forhold til hende og også til din mor, hvis omstændighederne og din vilje havde været anderledes.
Så nu har jeg fortalt dig sandheden, og hvis jeg havde gjort dette, da jeg genoptog kontakten med dig sidste gang, er jeg ikke sikker på, at du eller Kirsten havde haft tålmodighed til at lytte til mig, og resultatet havde sikkert været, at vi ikke havde set hinanden igen.
Hvis du vil forsøge at lære fra ovenstående ved at vise større åbenhed, empati/interesse og ved at vise styrke overfor Kirsten, så kan vi fortsætte kontakten, ellers er min beslutning fortsat den samme: At stoppe kontakten, fordi du motiverer mig ikke til at fortsætte, selvom du er min far.
Hvis dette er sidste gang, du hører fra mig, så ønsker jeg dig, Kirsten og hendes børn alt det bedste af et godt hjerte, og så vil jeg i øvrigt fortsætte med at savne den far, som jeg kunne have haft, men som jeg aldrig har haft. Sådan er det, far – på grund af dine valg og på grund af din accept af Kirsten, har du været en dårlig far. Og det er muligt, at du synes, at jeg har været en dårlig søn, og hvis dette er tilfældet, så skyldes det ganske enkelt, at vi aldrig har haft muligheden for at få den kommunikation mellem far og søn, som der skal til – og som andre har – for at skabe forståelse for hinanden og et godt forhold.
Den måde, som jeg kommunikerer på nu, er den måde, som jeg har allermindst lyst til, men som er en kedelig konsekvens af jeres fokusering på jer selv og jeres egne behov. Jeg er sikker på, at I oplever det anderledes, og så må det være sådan.
Jeg er ikke interesseret i at modtage mails fra dig, hvis dette bliver begyndelsen til en ”hvem har ret” dialog. Det ønsker jeg ikke. Det er ikke min natur. Enten har man en god og positiv dialog med gensidig interesse ellers har man ingen dialog. Dette er min beslutning – mails med ”forsvar” for eller ”belæringer” om dine valg og beslutninger vil blive slettet og ikke besvaret. Jeg kender dine holdninger – dem har jeg lyttet til mange gange uden at have fortalt dig mine egne. Dem har du fået nu.
Kærlige hilsener fra
After reconnecting with the Source in 2010, I desperately needed positive energy to survive (!), and I asked to see my father if he would be “be open and positive” and I said “I am the same Stig as always”
As mentioned I did not receive a reply from my father – I had asked not to receive his “self-justifying” emails but hoped that he would start to open up, which obviously was “impossible” for him to do when it was “impossible” to understand me (!) – and my email was also meant as a help for him to improve but as I have written about in my scripts, you don’t tell simple minded people of their improvement needs and then they will be happy for “of course” this was a negative email from a “poor son” (!), which was confirmed when I at the end of July 2010 – right after re-connecting with the Source desperately needed energy/healing from “positive people” to survive (!) – I sent out a standard email to family and friends asking to see them again, and the 29th July 2010, I sent one of these emails to my father including this special paragraph, and I truly hoped that he would start doing what was right so we could start seeing each other again, and this is then one example where I contacted my father again hoping that our relation could normalise:
“Jeg håber, at I vil fokusere på, at jeg er den samme Stig, som jeg altid har været, at I vil ”glemme” mine spirituelle kontakter, hvis det er nemmest for jer og at jeg gerne vil ses med jer, hvis I vil være ægte ”åbne” og “positive”, lægge jeres ”kraftige stemme” og unødvendige samt misforståede kritik fra jer og både forstå og respektere, at der findes andre holdninger end jeres, hvor jeres ikke nødvendigvis altid er rigtige (!) – og hvis dette ikke er muligt eller hvis mine skriverier ”fylder alt for meget” for jer uden at I forstår dem, ja så er tiden endnu ikke rigtig.”
”I hope your focus will be that I am the same Stig as always, that you will ”forget” my spiritual contacts, if this is the easiest for you, and I would like to see you if you will genuinely be open and positive, and put away your “powerful voice” and unnecessary and misunderstood criticism, and both understand and respect that there are other attitudes than yours with yours not necessarily being the right (!) – and if this is not possible or if my writings “fill far too much” for you without understanding them, this is not yet the right time”.
My father decided to reject me: “You are mentally sick”, which “you cannot see yourself”, “I cannot remember when you have made me happy” and ”maybe you will acknowledge being a poor son”!
Despite of my encouragement for him to “be open and positive” and to focus on me being “the same as always”, my “negative” email from August 2009 had apparently not “sunk” in still annoying him (!) and my now public writings and “apparent sickness” when claiming to be the Son of God was obviously more powerful in his mind than to simply understand what I told him that “I am the same Stig as always” and instead he decided to send me the following completely misunderstood email almost as a “revenge action” because of my email from 2009 (!) – the words “poor father” of my email then was obviously annoying him much – and it truly hurts me just writing and re-living these experiences but there is no way out, let us see again what he writes to give you this English translation of some of it:
“Thank you for your email, where you use a lot of words to justify yourself”.
“Everything indicates that you are mentally sick. Seek help before it is too late. We don’t want to be influenced by neither angels nor demons or whatever cap you are wearing”.
“Neither I, who almost is a non-believe or Kirsten, who in the past had a husband, who like you, also became obsessed by extreme religious fanaticism. He became mentally ill and dies of it.”
“As long as you have crazy things in your head, which you cannot see yourself, we cannot open up for you in our existence”.
“For many years it has been such that if we don’t share your attitudes and fantasies, you choose not to see us for long periods. We cannot and will not accept that.”
“Stig, think about when you have made me happy, I cannot remember it. On the contrary, there has been many disappointments. Maybe you will acknowledge being a poor son”.
Let the words from my ignorant father ”everything indicates that you are mentally sick. Seek help before it is too late” be the words, which MANY people thought of me without anyone offering me “help” (!) and that is except from my sister (!) and even though my sister misunderstood me and made me hurt immensely, it is also showing her “loving feelings” to me and the will to do something when she took on the lead of the family to “help” me, which none of my friends etc. “could” do. They simply decided to put their heads into the ground because “we will have nothing to do with him” and yes, this is also about lack of courage and true compassion of people!
Here is his full email in Danish:
Tak for din mail, hvor du bruger en masse ord for at retfærdiggøre dig selv.
Alt tyder på at du er syg i sindet. Søg nu hjælp inden det er for sent.
Vi ønsker ikke at blive påvirket af hverken engle eller dæmoner eller hvad det nu er for en kasket du har på.
Hverken jeg, som nærmest er ikke troende eller Kirsten, som i fortiden havde en mand, der ligesom dig, også blev besat af ekstrem religiøs fanatisme. Dette medførte lidelser for hende og hendes 4 børn. Han blev psykisk syg og døde af det.
Så længe du har de tossede ting i hovedet, som du ikke selv kan se, kan vi ikke lukke dig ind i vores tilværelse.
Vi har meget sympati for dig Stig, men du kan ikke redde verden. Hvis du vil redde dig selv inden det er for sent, må du søge at få professionel hjælp snarest.
I mange år har vi ønsket at du ville skabe dig en normal tilværelse. Du har haft alle forudsætningerne og særdeles gode evner, men spilder din energi på åndeligt bavl og genbrug af dommedagsprofetier mv.
I din iver for at skrive er det meget kedeligt at du lægger alt muligt ud på nettet, som kan være private oplysninger og ikke kommer andre ved og som krænker privatlivets fred.
I mange år har det været sådan, at hvis vi ikke deler dine holdninger og fantasier, fravælger du os i lange perioder. Det kan og vil vi ikke acceptere.
Stig, tænk engang på hvornår du har glædet mig, jeg kan ikke mindes det. Tværtimod har der været masser af skuffelser. Måske du erkender at være en dårlig søn.
My father’s misunderstood rejection was “this close” to terminate us because of the EXTREME darkness he brought me giving me my most critical and one of my WORST experiences ever!
How do you think it feels like to receive such a negative email ONLY based on misunderstandings – including LAZINESS and OPPOSITION to read and understand me – when you are at your most extreme and critical phase of your life EVER – and that is in history (!) – desperately needing positive healing to survive (?) and yes my friends, this email including extreme negative thoughts and darkness coming to me was “this close” to finish me and the world off – by my own father (!) – and only because I decided to be strong instead of giving in to extreme and very direct feelings of sadness and resignation given to me, I survived.
This is one of the absolutely worst experiences EVER in my life – it was EXTREME and the darkness played on it making it that extreme (!) – and it gives you exactly the picture of my father as I told him in my email: Self-willed and impossible to be open to anything else than his own misunderstood and wrong voice and that is at least in relation to me. This is a true example of what misunderstandings do to the world – make it suffer much when people “cannot” understand because of poor communication and selfishness, which is also a “big” part in relation to my father, because he prioritises “a good steak and red wine” as he told me in another email, thus not all of my “alternative interests”!!!
It is noticeable that when my father gave me this misunderstood telling-off including the “disappointments” I have given him in his life, I had a very good and open relation with his own sister, which made both me and her very happy, and the only reason for our suffering relation, was yourself and your “hysteric” wife, my father (!), but you simply could not understand when I told you because you decided NOT to read and understand with an open mind as I encouraged you to do and therefore NOT to change!
My father brought me as much sufferings as my mother – to help saving the world
I have not seen my father now since 2009 and not been in contact with him after receiving his email in 2010, and consequently I have also not known about his feelings towards me and actions in relation to me when speaking to “his new family” and friends about me, and really how much or little darkness he has sent me – I know that my mother has sent me a lot, but not about how much my father sent me, this was “our well kept secret” and first at the end of my journey when writing this addition the 15th November 2011, I know that my father caused me “as much sufferings as my mother” and the answer was given to me in a dream of the 13th November 2011 as follows:
“I see a large pillow at my father’s bed, he is sleeping but then I see a very large dog jumping out of it and running towards me, and this is to say that because I have not been in contact with my father, I don’t know what his actions have meant to me, but here is the answer – he has brought me MUCH darkness too, just as my mother.”
My father, you made me suffer all of my life for not giving me the upbringing and support a father naturally should give his son, and you may remember that the truth is that I gave you all of my support when you were sick of cancer approx. 2005-06, I believe, and that is as long as I could?
But despite of everything: I love my father – and also Kirsten and her children, who have MANY good sides (!) – and I always will as I know they love me too! Everything else is merely misunderstandings. And I do look forward to seeing you VERY much and that is WITHOUT misunderstandings and with an open mind to listen, which is what I have tried to make you understand “always”, do you see?
“My aunt called me and told me that my father had died already January 10 this year 2-3 days after he had been hospitalised because of incredible stomach pain, and she had not been allowed by “selfish” Kirsten (his wife), as she called her, to tell me. And this came after Inge had visited her son, Jan, on Madeira in December, where I was told about Jan influencing her against me (“Stig cannot be Jesus”), and I was asked to call her because of “outmost importance”, which I did not do when I was working on my extreme edge, and I was told that this was to receive the worst darkness of Jan via her, and when I did not, this was directed to my father, which is what killed him, “I am sorry, old chap”, I did a mistake, which I should not have done. It was darkness via misunderstandings of both my father self, Kirsten and all of her family and Jan, who “could not” read and understand me, which eventually killed my father. They “knew better” that I was “crazy” without knowing anything, and all of them abandoned me except from Inge, whom they won over bringing this my father’s death as the result. I have NOT been told spiritually about this, and have NOT heard from the probate court about his death, which I was sure that I would, so I thought that he was still alive.”
“The only one not being told is me, and if this made me sad (?), yes what do you think. Kirsten stole my father, and was insane when she decided to keep his death a secret to me – this is the opposite world, I was sane, and “everyone else” was insane not being able to do the only RIGHT thing.”
How sad do you believe Kirsten and her completely unnessecary misunderstandings, jealousy, fear and stealing of my father, not only alive but also as dead, made me (?), and yes, INCREDIBLE (!) – she did the worst a person can do to another – but still, she also has good sides.
My mother brought me sufferings to save the world
Read this, the next page of my sufferings here.
This website was first published November 14, 2011, and has since been updated some times.